


Backseat Promises

by devastating



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Felix Hugo Fraldarius is Bad at Feelings, Getting Back Together, Glenn lives and that’s important, I promise it gets better, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Many minor relationships in the background because I have ships, Rating May Change, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being an Asshole, Sylvain Jose Gautier Needs A Hug, Sylvain Jose Gautier's Father's Bad Parenting, Trans Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Trans Male Character, break up and then make up, no beta we die like Glenn, only for a little bit and with good reason!, past relationship, sylvain is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 40,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devastating/pseuds/devastating
Summary: Arranged marriage sucks, that’s a given. An arranged marriage with your high school sweetheart that broke your heart and ruined you? Now that’s the real kicker!Arranged Marriage AU in which Sylvain is forced to comes to terms with what happened between him and Felix and how to get past that.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 58





	1. Life’s A Bitch Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> You ever write a fic that was meant to be at most a 4K fic where it was born out of a stupid idea that came into your mind at like 3 in the morning but then two months later you’re looking at a 40k+ monstrosity and you have no idea how you got there? Because same! 
> 
> Anyways I know that an arranged marriage thing isn’t super uncommon. Neither is the whole, we dated before and now we’re getting back together thing _but_ I personally could not get the exact idea of the relationship ending because Felix was the one that fucked up and then add arranged marriage and voila. This behemoth of a fanfic was created! Also I have everything already written I just need to edit the rest sooooo I‘m going to be updating at least once a week, we’ll see how I feel! But for the most part, weekly updates for sure!

Sylvain was letting all of this sink in like cherry syrup does on an ice cream sundae. Slow and present at the top, but at the end of the day it’ll sink with a gross thick consistency that causes the unnecessary ugly mess that was his life. He wasn’t necessarily surprised by this — hell, it was because he was so unsurprised by this that he felt so disgusted by the news. His whole life he had been raised to accept this very set of news and yet a sick twisted part of him had thought that he had lucked out. That now that he was 24 that he was old enough; that he was not only out of his father's clutches, but that he would never be forced to do anything that he didn't want to ever again. How foolish of him to think that. 

“The wedding will happen later this summer, this family is incredibly important, Sylvain, so I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how you should behave” his father spoke, eyes scrutinizing every aspect of his son. “And do not think for even a second that you will be able to trick yourself out of this. This isn't a game, boy, if this marriage falls through, the company will suffer severely so do not make the mistake of treating this like the other arrangements. Is that understood?” 

“Yes sir,” Sylvain whispered as he looked up at his father. “Who am I marrying?” 

“Felix Fraldarius.” 

~ X ~ 

Here’s the thing about Felix Fraldarius and why Sylvain was currently tipping back his fifth tequila shot of the night. 

This wasn’t the first time that they had met. 

Goddess no. That would be too kind of a mercy for the shit show that was Sylvain’s life. No, Felix, arguably, was Sylvain’s ex boyfriend from high school, though saying that was also a very tricky situation given the fact that they had never become official despite the fact that Sylvain could soundly say he was his first love. And why hadn’t they become official? Well. Sylvain was a coward and Felix was an asshole, that was the simple story to their old romance. The more in-depth story went like this: 

Sylvain was the star player of the basketball team despite the fact that he wasn’t even a senior, but he had been playing basketball since he was 5 years old and his father realized that maybe this would be enough to get Sylvain into a big name college through a scholarship if his grades weren’t good enough. So Sylvain _knew_ how to play basketball, and he knew he was good which was why he was cocky and he was arrogant. No one else could match him on the court and no one could even come close to being as good as he was, or so he thought. 

In comes Dimitri Blaiddyd, another rich kid but with a better personality and an unnecessary Prince Charming kind of personality. He had been so shy during tryouts and Sylvain had seriously not even given him the time of day until suddenly that man was the best center he had ever seen and being paired up with Sylvain all the time when they did drills. He was exactly what they needed and after a couple of more practice matches, was allowed as a starter despite him being a freshman. But he was good, oh he was ridiculously good in the way that irked Sylvain because that boy had not a single flaw in sight. He was perfect, had a perfect family, a perfect life and yet so stupidly shy and modest that it made Sylvain pull his hair out most days. But Dimitri was so kind to him, like a lost puppy trailing behind him when everyone else was doing something else. Genuinely wanting to befriend him and learn from him so Sylvain couldn’t, in good conscious, be mean to him. Humoring him and even hanging out with him outside of practice. Taking the blonde out to the movies and to get ice cream on the weekends. Giving him advice on girls and even tutoring him on hard subjects. Because at the end of the day, as infuriating as it was for Sylvain’s jealousy, he ended up liking the kid. He was nice and funny, dorky and genuinely someone that wanted to be his friend and so Sylvain took him in. 

That was when the pool party happened, naturally Dimitri invited the entire team to his party but it was obvious he especially wanted Sylvain to go if his own personal invitational text message and follow up phone call didn’t give that away. Unsurprisingly, most of the team had other weekend plans but Sylvain did not and so he accepted the invitation and was soon in a house far wealthier than he had expected in a room full of other kids that weren’t his age and equally confused as to why Sylvain had even bothered to show up. But he was Dimitri’s upperclassman and the boy looked so happy that he had actually shown up, practically vibrating in his seat, and so Sylvain couldn’t bring himself to be mad at the fact that he stuck out like a sore thumb.

It was at that party that he had met Felix. He hadn’t stood out to him then, just an angsty teenager that got very competitive about beach volleyball and was too into his older brother for Sylvain’s liking. But somehow, and for some random reason that Sylvain never found out, Felix stayed by his side most of the party. Where Dimitri was an excited puppy, Felix was a kitten that was trying way too hard not to seem like he wanted attention but also following your every move, waiting and wishing for some semblance of affection. It was cute though, _he_ was cute, and Sylvain found himself humoring him. Going as far as staying outside with him in the pool when the rest of the party had decided to move inside to sing karaoke despite Felix protesting that he wanted to keep swimming. He was shy and prickly but he was adorable in the way that he beamed when Sylvain said that he would stay with him in the pool. 

Eventually the party ended and Sylvain left without another word only to get a text that night from Dimitri asking if it was okay if he gave his number to Felix. After that Sylvain ended up spending the rest of the coming months with Felix as weird as that was. He was fun to hang around if he was being honest and he was genuinely happy to be around Sylvain where most people that asked to hang out with him only wanted him for his money or his popularity. He of course would hang out with Dimitri since it would be awkward to hang out with Felix and _not_ Dimitri (plus he was still a nice friend to have) but at the same time, Felix was slowly becoming Sylvain’s favorite person. 

He was dorky and he was funny. He was smart and he was caring. He was everything that any reasonable person could ever fall for and so Sylvain did just that — He fell for him. He fell for Felix in every kind of way and spent the following months in a weird unofficial relationship. The two would spend every night on the phone with each other; Felix would even go to every single one of his games and Sylvain would go to every single one of his fencing competitions. Going as far as even holding hands and giving each other kisses on their cheeks when they saw each other. But Sylvain also knew how not okay it would be for him to actually _date_ Felix. He was a junior and he was a freshman, that age gap wasn’t too big but at the time it felt ginormous and so wrong to him and it wasn’t as if he had the ‘best’ reputation in school also. Of course that quickly changed when suddenly Felix kissed him one night and Sylvain had never been happier. They never became official for the same reasons that he hadn’t made a move on him before but that was fine. Sylvain just let himself have this unofficial thing with him and not move forward. Okay with just showering the boy with attention and affection while never making a move to have things progress between them. Putting that on the side for a whole year and well into his last year of highschool. It was during his last year that he became captain of the basketball team after his father gave a “generous donation” to the school. Having to focus all his time on playing and trying to get ready for college instead of anything else. 

Instead of Felix. 

It was during one of the first practices of the week, a Monday he remembers clearly, that one of Felix’s friends, Ingrid, had come barging into the gym doors before they could even change into their practice clothes and screaming at Sylvain for being so selfish as to not ‘be by his side’ right now. Later that night Sylvain found out that Felix’s older brother, Dimitri, and Dimitri’s family, had all gotten into a car crash. Dimitri was okay but Glenn was in critical condition. Felix had been at the hospital for two days now. Two days and Sylvain had never even known about any of this. Hadn’t even known about Dimitri or anything else, purely focused on school and nothing more. 

Felix didn’t answer his messages, Dimitri did, but Felix didn't. Eventually Glenn woke up and a week later Sylvain found Felix outside the school. He had tried to apologize, genuinely apologize and promise that he would give Felix more attention but he hadn’t been able to even say a single word. Instead all he could do was stay frozen in place as Felix yelled at him, threw every single scathing thing his way and grabbed Sylvain's heart and shattered it into pieces. Bringing up personal things that Sylvain had trusted him with and using it against him. Burning down every kind of bridge that the two had created. It wasn’t until Ingrid was pulling Felix away that Sylvain snapped out of the shock state that he was in, apologies lost somewhere in the wind, and instead turned around and walked away without a single word. 

That night Sylvain told his father that he wanted to study abroad in Sreng because ‘they have a business program for foreign students that will help me out in the future’. Too much of a coward to go back and walk the hallways of Fhirdiad High and fix whatever had been broken between him and Felix. He didn’t continue his senior year in Fhirdiad High, his father immediately transferring him over to a school in Sreng the minute he found out that Sylvain was taking interest in the company and family business. He didn’t say goodbye to anyone, going as far as to block everyone’s phone number — he didn't need them anyways, he had been fine without them before and he wouldn’t force them to choose between him or Felix. By the time the week finished, Sylvain was in Sreng with a new phone number and feeling like the world was so much worse than before. After that, Sylvain never heard of Felix again and had forced himself to not give him much thought. 

“Okay okay that’s enough, no more drinking for you” a voice broke through Sylvains pity party as a hand snatched up the tequila shot from his fingers. 

“If you ask me, I haven’t drank enough Thea” Sylvain mumbled as he laid his head on the bar table. 

Dorothea simply sighed at her friend, having been unable to properly cheer him up ever since he had gotten the sad news. Even bringing him to the bar that the two had always frequented in their ‘party’ days had done nothing for the redhead. A low whistle broke the silence between the two and Dorothea looked behind them to find one of Sylvain’s closest friends (arguably his best friend) coming over still wearing his work clothes and looking downright exhausted. 

“What happened to him? It’s barely 6 in the afternoon” the man cringed as he sat down and motioned the waiter to come and give him some water, flinging his hair over his shoulder as he sighed. 

“I’m engaged,” Sylvain mumbled. 

“Oh” he whispered as he turned to look at Dorothea questioningly. The two knew the kind of person that Sylvain’s father was, had even heard Sylvain mention that his father wanted him to be married off to someone else but if both were being honest... They had seriously hoped that Sylvain was just being overly dramatic and that his father would never do something as archaic as that. 

“That’s not even the worst part, Lorenz,” Sylvain said before looking up and smiling at him, a cold distant smile. “It’s an ex… it’s THE ex.”

“ _Oh_.”

“Life is great,” Sylvain chuckled as he lifted his cup of water to cheer his impending catastrophe. “Anyways Thea won’t leave me alone so might as well join us. Apparently I need babysitters.” 

“Not babysitters — friends” Dorothea corrected with a small smile. “Friends that will be here for you through all of this okay?” 

“Well, here’s to my ever growing shit show of a life” Sylvain mumbled before chugging the cup of water. 

Sylvain, understandably, spent the majority of the next few days wallowing in self pity and anger. Lorenz and the rest of their friends that he had would come to try and cheer him up or at least be there for him since they knew just how much an arranged marriage affected Sylvain. It was major help but it also caused a disgusting pit to form in his stomach at the realization that he finally had people that loved him in his life and yet he was still going to get into a loveless marriage all for the sake of the ‘family business’. Something that he had fought against for so long and had seriously thought that he had won the war. 

Things only got worse when his father reminded him of the dinner they were to have that night. 

It was the first time he was going to be seeing Felix again after all these years. Luckily for Sylvain he was not going to be alone to meet his _fiancé_ ; his father, his father’s secretary, and Dorothea (who Sylvain had actually met when his father hired her to be _his_ secretary), would all be there with him. Unluckily for Sylvain this meant that Felix’s father and _brother_ plus whoever else they were inviting, would be at the dinner too. Sylvain had tried to hide his discomfort and anxiety as best as he could but ultimately he was a nervous mess and Dorothea had to take pity on him and help him get ready for what he knew would be the worst dinner of his entire life. 

“Sylvain remember, we need this marriage to go through and so I am expecting the best behavior out of you” His father whispered as they walked towards the back of the restaurant where his father had secured a reserved section for them. The table lined in the finest clothes and cutlery — decorated with everything in perfect order and ready to woo anyone that walked into the room. 

“Of course father,” Sylvain answered, taking his seat beside his father and pulling out his phone to discuss small details of work with Dorothea before his guests arrived. Occasionally looking towards the entrance to try and see where their guest could be. The fact that they were running late only served to make his anxiety get overwhelmingly higher by the second. However it was not just him who was starting to get anxious; soon enough Sylvain spotted his father sending messages and calling his own men to look into where the Fraldarius could be. 

After 20 minutes had passed, Sylvain’s father stood up with a loud exasperated sigh, “I’ll be right back, I have some phone calls to make.” 

“Of course” Sylvain nodded as he watched his father walk out of the room to talk on his phone, his secretary and guards following him; allowing Sylvain to have a moment of freedom amongst an ally. “I hope the goddess shows me mercy and they never show up.” 

“As if the goddess has ever been that nice to you” Dorothea mumbled but gave Sylvain a small concerned look. 

Sylvain sighed as he looked up towards the entrance, “You’re absolutely right, since it appears that they finally showed up once my dad decided to fucken leave.” 

“Oh fuck” Dorothea whispered as they both stood up to welcome their guest. 

Sylvain plastered on his friendliest smile, trying to hide his anxiety. It was funny, he thought, Sylvain had met the Fraldarius' oldest man, Rodrigue, only in business meetings and never when he and Felix had known each other, and yet he was still so nervous to talk to him. Fraldarius was a tech company and so they ended up working a lot with Gautier Security and although Sylvain had never done more than polite hellos and goodbyes, he could identify the man right away. Same could be said for the older boy next to him: Glenn Fraldarius. Looking at him again, Sylvain understood why he never took up Felix’s offer to meet his older brother. He had the kind of air that made Sylvain’s skin crawl; he didn't doubt that the people around him worshipped the ground beneath his feet and you could tell that that was happening with the way he watched everyone and puffed out his chest. He was attractive but he also shouted major “I will not hesitate to call you ugly to your face after we have sex” kind of vibe (and as a player, or former player, Sylvain was well acquainted with _those_ kind of douchebags). 

Besides him was Felix, and for a split second Sylvain was thrown back to high school and felt his heart beat stutter because fuck was he breath taking. Where he had been awkward and lean in youth, Felix had grown into sharp edges and lean muscled. His raven hair and sharp eyes only caused Sylvain to feel his heart beat faster. He had never been one to believe in love at first sight, thought it was something childish naive shit people had made up, but he swore in that moment that maybe there was some truth to those stories. Or maybe it was his old feelings crawling up his chest with their fangs bared and out for blood. 

Besides the three was a group of bodyguards though only two of them really caught Sylvain’s eyes. A small white haired freckled boy who was fidgeting around anxiously and who looked oddly familiar and a tall older man with orange red hair who looked grim and unbothered. Sylvain guessed that they were Fraldarius’ own men because Sylvain had made it a point within himself to remember the faces of anyone that came out of Gautier security. It was going to be his company one day and as much as he hated it and wished nothing more than for it to crash and burn, he knew people depended on him and the company so he did try when it came to working at least. 

“You must be Sylvain” Rodrigue spoke with a soft smile as he extended his arm towards him. “I’m Rodrigue and I believe we’ve met before.”

“Yes sir, it’s a pleasure like always” Sylvain smiled as he shook his hand, making sure to have a strong sturdy grip. With the way Rodrigue was looking at him he was sure he was being tested and he _had_ promised his dad that he would do his best not to fuck this all up at least this once.

“I apologize for our tardiness, some issue came up at work that needed to be handled immediately. I’m sure you understand” Rodrigue smiled as he stepped back and motioned his sons over to him. “Let me introduce you. This is my oldest son Glenn.” 

“Sylvain” Glenn spoke as he shook his hand. Sharp smile pointed towards Sylvain, anger disguised as politeness that Sylvain was so familiar with thanks to his father. 

“It’s a pleasure,” Sylvain answered with a smile, holding back the edge he so desperately wanted to cut Glenn with but his father's words echoed in his head and so he was forced to bite his tongue this time. 

“You could say that” Glenn’s smile faltered and a glare seeped in through his cracks, but a quick warning stare from his father brought back the polite smiles and words from him. 

“And this is Felix,” Rodrigue introduced as he motioned towards Felix because obviously he was completely oblivious to the history between the two of them. Felix on the other hand, looked like he was currently living the worst moment of his life which Sylvain understood, he wasn’t having that much fun either. 

Sylvain opened his mouth to reply to Rodrigue but the sound of the back door opening and slamming shut quickly pulled his attention and found his dad walking into the room looking extremely pissed off. But the minute his eyes caught sight of Rodrigue his face morphed into the fake happiness Sylvain knew so well, “Rodrigue, my friend, glad to see you’ve made it here safe.” 

“Yes I was telling your son that there was an issue at work and that was the reason for our tardiness, I hope that it didn’t cause any problems on your end” Rodrigue said with a polite smile. 

“Of course not” Sylvains father laughed his horrible and extremely fake laugh before walking over and placing his hand on Sylvains shoulder. Placing his hand a little too quickly and too forceful that Sylvain wasn’t able to fully suppress the flinch that had been ingrained into his bones for years now. Nervously laughing it off as he looked over to his father's face. 

“I do hope Sylvain here has been well mannered, he tends to sometimes forget how to even manage a simple hello without messing up” his father laughed, his joke and jabs had become so common that Sylvain was entirely unaffected by them now. 

“No he’s been nothing but polite” Rodrigue chuckled before looking over to the table. “Shall we?” 

“Yes of course” his father answered as they all walked over to the table and sat down, motioning a waitress to come and take their drink orders. 

“Would you be interested in wine sir?” the waitress asked nicely to the table, looking to Sylvain since he was the closest to her. 

“He’ll have a bottle of your finest Nebbiolo and so will I.” Sylvain’s father immediately replied because heaven forbid Sylvain does something embarrassing like ordering the wrong kind of wine in front of his future father in law. 

“O-Of course sir” the waitress spoke as she wrote down the order and turned to the other side of the group. 

“We’ll have a bottle of Xinomavro for us,” Rodrigue answered with a smile. 

The waitress quickly took the rest of the people's orders before heading back to retrieve them, leaving the table to look at the menu and try to figure out what dish to order. Sylvain had been to this restaurant countless times and so he knew exactly what to order without a problem and didn’t even have to look at the menu — did it simply out of politeness and also because he hated the awkward atmosphere that was swallowing the room. 

Rodrigue chuckled breaking the silence of the room, “having trouble figuring something out Felix? He’s a bit of a picky eater.” Felix rolled his eyes as Rodrigue continued. “As long as it has meat and is spicy he usually says. Anything else he won't eat.” 

“Then I would recommend the Sous Vide Rabbit, it’s not overly spicy but it’s probably the spiciest thing on the menu.” Sylvain’s smile was forced as he spoke, putting all of his years of placating shitty rich guys into work, trying to pretend this was their first time meeting and not this heart crushing thing that was actually happening. “That also goes good with the Xinomavro so it’ll compliment the flavors.” 

“Oh you seem to know a lot about fine cuisine” Rodrigue mused, latching onto this topic of discussion to try and break the ice among them. 

Sylvain fake chuckled, “not as much as I wish, I’m afraid I’m all talk when it comes to food as I sadly lack skill in the kitchen despite how much I’ve read up on it.” 

“Then that is something you and I both share” Rodrigue joked, “cooking is truly a skill that I find to be incredibly difficult to master.” 

Sylvain smiled as he continued to talk with Rodrigue, his father too busy trying to keep up a perfect appearance to truly participate and both the Fraldarius sons had mutually agreed to stay silent and angry in the corner and so the only reason the awkward atmosphere was disappearing was thanks to Sylvain and Rodrigues conversations. Thankfully for Sylvain it appeared that Rodrigue enjoyed hearing about all of the dishes Sylvain attempted to cook and fail miserably at. Despite how much Sylvain could see his father shift in his seat at the idea of his son putting himself in a bad light in front of someone like Rodrigue — Sylvain continued. If he was so uncomfortable he could change the subject but he didn’t and so even when the waitress came to take their orders (to Rodrigues pleasure, Felix ordered what Sylvain recommended) they still continued talking. 

“Yes, so that was when I was very strictly forbidden in ever using a kitchen blowtorch” Sylvain finished with a smile as Rodrigue genuinely laughed. 

“Yes I can understand why that would happen” Rodrigue chuckled. 

“Thankfully that was the only thing that I wasn’t allowed to use and despite how horrible of a cook that I am, I do genuinely like being in the kitchen. Recently I was able to travel to Derdriu where I bought a specially crafted Almaryn knife, it cuts through anything with absolute ease” Sylvain continued. “Though I’m sure even then I’m using it incorrectly.” 

“Oh Felix is actually really into blades” Rodrigue quickly remarked as he turned to Felix, expecting for his younger son to finally participate in the conversation now that this olive branch had been given to him. 

Felix rolled his eyes, “I collect swords and daggers not knives.” Rodrigue immediately frowned at how quickly his son shut down the conversation and how he was still refusing to be cooperative about this entire situation. 

Sylvain, unfazed by his shitty attitude (he didn’t manage to befriend Felix once upon a time after all), smiled at Rodrigue and ignored him. The fight they had had in the back of his mind even now. “Have you ever gone to the Adrestian Fire festival? During the festival a bunch of people come from everywhere to show off their history and cultures and so there’s huge sections that show all the kinds of foods in other countries. I’ve been going the past three years with my secretary since she was born in Adrestia and it’s really nice. If you enjoy cuisine you’ll love it.” 

“When is this festival, I had never heard of it” Rodrigue asked. 

“I believe it’s in the fall, not entirely sure on the date but I can have someone figure that out” Sylvain said but Dorothea was already looking this up on her phone. 

“It’s on the 18th of the Wyvern Moon” Dorothea answered with a smile. 

“Oh that gives you plenty of time for us all to organize going to the festival” Rodrigue answered as he placed his hand on Felix’s shoulder. “You can go with Sylvain so that he can show you around. Though I guess by then you will be married so that will be up the two of you to organize.” 

Sylvains father chuckled alongside Rodrigue and Sylvain had to hold back the full body cringe that was running through his veins. And despite him holding it back, Felix did not care to do that and even went as far as to make a disgusted face at the prospect of being together with Sylvain. It hurt, he wasn’t going to lie about that, but Sylvain understood. Arranged marriage wasn’t something anyone would be happy about especially one that was being rushed like theirs was. Mix that with their history? And yeah, he understood well enough. 

“Yes actually since we’re on the topic of that” Sylvains father quickly said as he leaned forward to talk to Rodrigue as the waitress came to pick up everyone’s dishes and lingering long enough for Sylvain to quickly order some desert for the table, and then quickly asking her to come back to order another kind of desert for Felix that he had mistakenly ordered once and regretted it instantly since it had been shockingly spicy (Felix hated sweets even as a teenager so Sylvain bet money that was still the case now). 

“Father please,” Sylvain smiled as he quickly cut in before his father went on a tangent about their marriage. He had not worked so hard to try and make the atmosphere nice and relaxing for his dad to immediately massacre it. “I think it would be better to get to know each other first before we talk about any of the boring details. I mean, I would much rather show them around the company or even visit the Fraldarius company myself before we decide what kind of flowers we will put as table decor at our wedding.” 

“Sylvain” his father quickly responded, placing his hand on Sylvain’s forearm and squeezing much too tightly to be considered a warning and transformed into a full blown threat. “This is between Rodrigue and I.” he whispered though Sylvain knew it was not low enough that the rest of the table hadn’t heard. 

For the first time that night Sylvains smile faltered, “of course father,” he gritted out before his father pulled his hand away and Sylvain quickly hid it under the table. 

“My apologies,” Sylvains father smiled as he turned to Rodrigue. “Anyways concerning the things we had discussed previously, we can both agree this would be the best thing for both of our companies. Combining your technology with our security will surely profit us.” 

Rodrigue's smile faded as he leaned forward and continued the conversation with his father. Sylvain immediately tuned out and focused instead on watching his surroundings, trying to put back together the mask on his face and pretend like he wasn’t currently on the verge of bashing his head into the wall. It was then that his gaze met Felix’s and immediately he felt his blood boil. He actually had the nerve to look at him pitifully right now? Really? Sylvain's jaw immediately clenched as he looked back at him, a warning in his eyes that clearly told Felix to back off. The change of attitude caught Felix off guard who immediately shook his head and looked away from Sylvain, unaware that Sylvain had read his concerned stare as one filled with pity. 

It was then that Dorothea quietly put her hand on Sylvains knee causing him to look away and towards her with a small smile before turning back to what his father was saying to Rodrigue, though each word passed through one ear and out the other. Thankfully, it was then that the waitress came and started handing over the cake pieces that Sylvain had ordered for the table, making sure to stay on the sidelines to try and not interrupt the conversation. Carefully placing the dishes in front of them and making her way around the table until she reached Felix. 

“I don’t eat sweet thanks” Felix quickly said as he placed his hand up to stop her from placing the dish down. 

“I ordered you a Sriracha Chocolate Tart — Figured you wouldn’t like sweets” Sylvain quickly lied as he nodded to the waitress to put the dish down in front of Felix. Felix only eyed Sylvain warily before looking away from him. 

“Thanks” Felix mumbled. Rodrigue immediately smiled and beamed at the small interaction before continuing the conversation with Sylvain’s father. 

The night quickly ended after that, everyone enjoying their desserts and the ‘adults’ continuing to talk about the business side of this arrangement. Sylvain had heard enough to figure out that the reason for this marriage was purely born from the high demand in security cameras and digital developments that had come from the progression of said surveillance gadgets. Sylvain found himself slightly annoyed that a reason as simple and small as that was why he was marrying when in his mind, they could just come up with a contract that had both companies successfully profit on creating a new kind of surveillance gadget. But sadly, he was still just the heir of the company so he would have to suck it up and marry Felix. 

Unsurprisingly, Rodrigue _loved_ Sylvain, going as far as hugging him when they all split up at the end of the night. Saying how thrilled he was that such ‘an upstanding gentleman’ like Sylvain would be marrying his son. Sylvain simply smiled and said that he was happy that Rodrigue enjoyed his company and that he hoped next time they could talk more in-depth. He quickly regretted those words when Rodrigue smiled and encouraged Sylvain to come over to the Fraldarius house later that week for dinner. Saying that it will be more comfortable and a way for him to get to know him fully. Sylvain smiled and agreed though the entire time he wanted nothing more than to kill himself for having accidentally caused that kind of train of thought to run through Rodrigue’s mind. But it was fine. Another dinner date would be fine. He survived this one of course he would survive the next one too. 

At least that’s what he hoped for. 

~ X ~ 

It would forever amaze everyone around Sylvain how he could sing duets with Dorothea (a woman who was on the verge of becoming a professional opera singer) and yet all musical talent went out the window the minute he was left alone to sing along to shitty 90’s punk band music. Yes he could sing scores from Les Miserables in complete harmony and tune, but he can also sing like a dying cat while he jammed out to ‘All The Small Things’ by Blink 182. It was a two way street that nobody except for Dorothea found enjoyment in. Lorenz on a daily basis scolded Sylvain for grating his ears with his singing and yet would also turn around and demand for him and Dorothea to sing for him whenever the three were together. Really, nobody in their right minds would ever guess that Sylvain Jose Gautier could _sing_ if they didn't see him actually trying, but he found that to be extremely funny and so he usually continued the illusion that he sucked at singing. 

And so because of that, he was practically screaming the lyrics of ‘1985’ by Bowling For Soup as he cleaned his house. Music blasting, broom swinging side to side like a microphone stand, and the room two steps away from becoming a concert venue. It was Friday and in the past this meant that Sylvain would currently be organizing a night out with his friends but over the years that turned into cleaning day and also ‘later on I’m getting wine drunk while I watch shitty action movies by myself until I cry about untouched traumas in my past’. He called it self care, Lorenz called it depression — jury is still out on what it is. 

Sylvain was mid side step when his doorbell bell rang causing him to startle and drop his broom. He cursed as he picked it up and quickly turned down the music. It was his day off and he hadn’t invited his friends over, maybe it was a package? Had he ordered anything recently? He had no clue but he shrugged as he walked to the entrance, quickly trying to fix his hair. Might just be the mailman but at least he could make his hair decent (despite the fact that he was currently in grey sweats and an old paint covered tank top that definitely gave away the fact that he had not put any effort to look decent today). 

“Coming sorry” Sylvain called out as he unlocked his door and swung it open, immediately feeling his world shatter. “You’re not the mailman.”

“Obviously” Felix replied as he stood in front of Sylvain, looking at the red head questioningly. Besides him was the same white haired boy from the night before and a redhead girl, (also very familiar) who was genuinely smiling nicely at Sylvain but it only made him feel like he was missing something because having Felix show up at his place unannounced caused him to slightly short circuit. 

“Um, you’re here because?” Sylvain desperately tried to seem cool and unbothered but the words had come out more harsh and tensed than intended. He _really_ did not want to be with Felix right now. 

Felix quirked his eyebrow up, “Your father said you were having car problems and that that’s why you hadn’t arrived at our house for lunch — I’m here to pick you up.”

If Sylvain hadn’t experienced panic when he had opened his door to find Felix, he was experiencing it now. Felix might as well have stabbed him and it would have made things better for Sylvain than the harsh reality that he was apparently late to _lunch_ with Felix and his family. Something that he knew, would justify his dad killing him later on tonight. 

“Kill me goddess” Sylvain breathed out as he ran his hand through his hair, yanking it a little to try and ground himself and frantically looked back into his house and back to Felix and chuckled. “Fine uh come in — yeah yeah, lunch that’s — how fun, I love this.” 

“No one told you about this?” Felix asked, his gaze leveled. The redhead simply waved him off before stepping to the side to let the three of them in, nervously smiling as he practically ran into his living room to put away his broom and cleaning supplies (at least this place was clean but goddess have mercy). 

“Hey — hi the names Sylvain didn’t introduce myself sorry” Sylvain chuckled as he quickly shook the white haired man's hand and then moved to the girl. 

“Oh my name’s Annette, that’s Ashe, we’ve actually met before in high school” the girl smiled at him, and it would have nice comfort in the panicked state that Sylvain was in, if not for the last part of her sentence. 

“Of course we did, how fun” Sylvain smile fell as he turned to try and run out of his living room but stopped at the insistent meowing from the other side of the room.

His cat looked deeply offended that Sylvain had people over during their _alone time_ and quickly tried to walk over to the offenders to probably give them a taste of his mind before Sylvain darted forward and snatched him up, “And _you_ are not going to attack anyone” he whispered as he walked over to his office (but really it was more like the cats room) to deposit him. As offended as his cat was about this entire situation, of course he took this time to hiss and glare at his guests. “And _that_ is why you’re not staying out here you bastard” he hissed back as he threw him into the room and closed the door behind him, his loud meowing only causing him to groan. Today was not a good day for him. 

“Sorry, he hates anyone that isn't me” he mumbled as he walked around the room and tried to tidy things up as best as he could. “Anyways you said your dad was waiting for me? Like been waiting for me a really long time, kind of waiting for me?” 

“About an hour wait” Felix answered as he looked towards the office door, frowning at the way his cat was meowing to be freed. “You can let him out if you want..” 

“Um do you need help” Ashe asked as he stepped forward, it was obvious to him that Sylvain was panicking and that he had never been warned about any of this. 

“No that’s fine, not much you can do so that’s— you're fine, really thank you for offering though. Do you want anything to drink?” Sylvain forced a smile on his face as he looked over to them, both Annette and Ashe looked deeply concerned for him, meanwhile Felix was still looking at the office door. 

“No it’s fine thank you” Annette smiled as she walked over and sat down on his couch, motioning Ashe to do the same. 

“Alright, um let me just quickly change” Sylvain breathed out before practically running out of the room and into his bedroom. Closing the door and taking a couple of seconds to scream internally before grabbing his phone and looking for any message from his dad or one of his multiple secretaries warning him about this, but alas, there was none just like he thought and he cursed his father for being so inconsiderate to forget to tell him about something like this. He was lucky Sylvain was even at his house! 

He groaned as he dialed the only person he knew could help him with a last minute moment of getting yourself ready for lunch at your future in-laws, putting the phone on speaker as he ravaged his closet for clothes that could maybe be decent enough for a lunch date. It only took two rings before the line was picked up and Sylvain found himself thanking the goddess for giving him this small blessing. And a best friend who had enough manners to actually pick up phone calls instead of letting them drift off to voicemail and then text ‘what’s wrong?’ (Yes this was a direct call out at himself). 

“Sylvain you never call unless you’re drunk or panicking. I’m hoping since it’s 4 pm that it’s the latter?” Lorenz 'voice spoke through the phone. 

“Lorenz oh thank the goddess” Sylvain sighed. “I need help, I have Felix in my house right now and apparently I’m having fucken lunch with them and my dad didn’t tell me so I’m already fucken late. An hour fucken late. I dont have any good clothes, just shitty suits and ties and then my other slutty clothes and I can’t do this — fuck he came out of nowhere too i was in the middle of cleaning and jamming and I’m not mentally prepared to be in the same fucken room as him much less spend the afternoon with _him_ ” Sylvain spoke rapidly, words getting more frantic with each second that passed. 

“Okay okay first you’re going to have to breathe” Lorez’ voice was calm and reassuring. “Put on that blue button up that you wore for our graduation dinner. It’s a lunch so not entirely formal so you can roll up the sleeves to make it look casual. Then put on your black jeans, it’ll make it look fancy but still casual. You’re okay, stop freaking out.” 

“Nothing is going to be okay” Sylvain groaned as he pulled out the clothes he mentioned. It was way too casual and he was sure his dad would murder him for looking so casual but Sylvain had no other option at the moment. Rolling his sleeves up and trying to fix his hair to at least look like he _tried_. 

“Treat this like another business meeting Sylvain. You know what to say already so just go with your gut,” Lorenz added. 

“Yeah well actually-” Sylvain was caught off by a loud bang and a string of curse words making Sylvain quickly snatch his phone. “Sorry have to go” Sylvain spoke as he immediately hung up and ran into his living room to find Felix on his knees with his cat in his arms. They both looked extremely pissed off and also like if he had just caught them having an affair. He didn’t know how to feel about any of this. 

“He jumped on the counter and dropped some stuff” Felix replied nonchalantly. 

“H-How did he get out?” 

“He was upset.”

Sylvain blinked but before he could even try to question the entire situation that had just unfolded before him — a phone began to ring and judging by the loud exasperated groan that Felix let out, it was his phone that was ringing. Twenty seconds later, and a lot of adjusting on Felix’s part and now Sylvains cat was smugly looking up at everyone as he laid on the man’s lap and Felix was answering his phone. 

“What? Yeah — we’re going fucken — his stupid dad didn’t even tell him about lunch okay he had to get ready —- fuck off. Bye” Felix spoke before hanging up his phone and turning his attention back to Sylvain’s cat. 

“Please tell me you didn’t just tell your dad that I didn’t know about lunch,” Sylvain whispered as he scrunched up his eyes, preparing for the final blow of the already shitty situation. It wouldn’t really kill Sylvain if Rodrigue found out some miscommunication had happened but it was also extremely embarrassing and he really did not want to add to the list of why Gautier’s sucked. 

“No, I told Glenn.” 

That was somehow worse. 

Sylvain groaned loudly before turning around and walking into his kitchen, raiding his stupid wine rack that he had complained about the entire time him and Lorenz had built but was now coming in handy. Picking out the best unopened wine he had and thanking the goddess for best friends stupid expensive taste in the dumb liquor. Taking another few seconds to try and regroup his thoughts before waltzing back into his living room with a fake new smile on his face. 

“Alright, sorry for the wait” Sylvain responded. “We can go now since I don’t want to keep your dad wait-“

“What’s his name?” Felix asked abruptly as Sylvain’s cat was now ramming up his purr engine. Felix ran his fingers through his long black fur and gave him his entire attention. Oblivious to Sylvains mental breakdown. 

“Jin — but listen your dad has-”

“He looks young” Felix remarked, once again interrupting Sylvain who was progressively getting more annoyed about being even more _late_ and being continuously interrupted. 

“He just turned 7 months old” Sylvain sighed. 

“Knew it” Felix mumbled as he leaned back on the wall and brought Jin up closer to his chest. Scratching his head and practically fawning over him without actually speaking up (it was obvious in the way he was fondly looking down at him). 

“Sorry, you remember how much he likes cats,” Ashe chuckled. “Like _really_ likes cats.” 

“Yeah it might take a while to separate the two of them honestly” Annette joked as if this was just a normal friendly environment and not the awkward shit show that was actually taking place. Sylvain laughed, though his laugh was way more forced and sounded incredibly panicked. He didn’t have _a while_ to spare and so Sylvain did what all Gautier’s are good at. Adapt. Overcome. Hope for the best? 

“Okay well as much as you want to cuddle with my cat this exact moment, how about we do this” Sylvain quickly spoke as he walked over to one of the closets he had, whipping out his cat carrier and prying Jin from Felix’s arms. “We take Jin with us so you can fuss over the little heathen as much as you want and I can go and beg your father forgiveness.” He said with a smile as he plopped the cat into the carrier and quickly closed it before handing it to Felix. Quickly turning around to Ashe before Felix could even reply, “I’m assuming that you’re driving mainly because you have the keys but if you want I can gladly drive if it means I get to leave _right now_.” 

“N-No that’s fine I’ll drive” Ashe quickly responded as they all stood up and started making their way out. Felix was the only one that didn’t move as he looked down at the cat who was imprisoned in a soft fabric cage and yowling at the fact that he had been contained. 

Sylvain groaned as he rubbed his face, “Felix-“

“He’s mine now.”

Of all the things that Felix could have ever thrown his way, ‘he’s mine now’ was not one that Sylvain was expecting, causing him to short circuit as Felix finally walked out of the house carrier in tow. Sylvain quickly put that comment to the side for him to pick at later tonight and ran out of his house and into Ashe’s car. Spending most of the ride to Felix’s house texting Dorothea and asking her to figure out who was the fucker that needed to be fired for not telling Sylvain about this lunch meeting. Usually he would never fire someone for personal reasons but at the moment he was so anxious and stressed out that he knew he would be wrecked for the entire week just from the after shock of what was happening today. (He also knew he wasn’t actually going to fire anyone but he sure as hell was going to write a very vaguely worded email threatening ‘corrective action’ or ‘permanent termination’ to whoever didn't relay the news of this lunch to him. Give them the same anxiety he was feeling right now.) 

Eventually they pulled up to what Sylvain was sure was the nicest house he had ever seen (because apparently the Fraldarius had moved in the past 7 years). And no, not in the ‘it’s rich and luxurious’ kind of house but in the ‘it’s so pretty and homey’ kind of way. The front yard had a garden, a _garden_. Sylvain legitimately thought that shit was only in movies since he had never in his life actually seen a house with a full blown flower garden in the entrance and ivy's running up the walls (his dad liked the more modern stupid looking houses). It was clearly a big and expensive house but it was also disguised as an old cottage and Sylvain was left gaping at it for a couple of seconds before stepping out of the car and following Felix up the steps of the entrance. 

They hadn’t even gotten to the door when it was opened by Glenn who was, unsurprisingly, glaring at Sylvain. “You’re la- is that a cat?” 

Felix shrugged, being caught red handed as he had, in his walk towards the house, opened the carrier and pulled out Jin. He looked up at Glenn nonchalantly as he finished closing the carrier and handing it over to him. “Sylvain gave him to me as a gift.” 

Annettes laughters and Glenns shocked stared was going to be replaying in Sylvain’s nightmares. He _knew_ that he would be thinking back to this moment for years and the disaster of it all would keep him up at night. “I- wait hold on” Sylvain tried to speak but before he could even try to explain to Glenn that, no, he did not give Felix _his_ cat, Rodrigue was walking up to him with a smile. 

Bringing him into a hug (that was expected this time around) and clapping his back. “Car troubles. Always happens at the worst times, I gave your father a list of mechanics that will fix your Jeep right up.” 

Sylvain chuckled nervously, “Yeah happened out of the blue. But thank you I’ll be sure to call them up.” 

“Yes but please come in,” Rodrigue said as he nudged Sylvain inside. 

The house was a little more underwhelming on the inside. It wasn't that it was ugly or anything, it was still a nice house but Sylvain found that he liked the outside of it so much more. That and the themes of the inside, dark blues and sleek minimalistic interior, clashed with the cottage vibes of the outside. Still, again, it _was_ a nice house. 

“This is a very lovely house sir. I love the garden outside” Sylvain smiled as he followed Rodrigue into the living room where Felix was now sitting on a couch with Jin. A crowd, some of them familiar faces, surrounding him making Sylvain wish he had been told about friends being able to come, Lorenz would’ve helped so much right now. That and maybe a little heads up about meeting his old highschool friends again would have been greatly fucken appreciated! 

“Is it true that you gave him a cat?” Ingrid asked Sylvain as she looked at him with a frown. 

“How kind of you Sylvain,” Rodrigue immediately spoke up before Sylvain could. “Felix had always wanted a cat growing up so I had promised to get him one but with work and the incident I never got around to that... I’m glad that you were able to provide him with what I couldn’t.” 

Now what the hell was Sylvain supposed to say to _that_? Had he known that his last minute decision of shoving his cat into a carrier to bring with him meant that he would bring up not only broken childhood promises but also the permanent rehoming of his feline companion he would've just let himself be late! Also had he known that Felix had turned into the kind of asshole that would just _steal_ people’s cats, he would’ve made sure that the fucker never came inside his house in the first place! This really was the cherry on top of the shitty day that he was having at the moment. 

“Glad he likes him,” Sylvain smiled painfully. Pushing back the urge to scream and cry. He would do that later tonight at Lorenz’s apartment because oh yeah, he was going over to Lorenz’s the minute all of this was over. If anyone could help him steal his cat back it would be the man that once stole an entire piano out of his old man's house without getting caught because ‘Sylvain this is a family heirloom and my father lacks the class to be able to properly care for it so stop complaining and start carrying’. That and Lorenz was ridiculously used to drunk Sylvain, had suffered through it for the better part of 5 years now. Not to mention that Sylvain had literally met Lorenz in Sreng when he was also there to study for business so he _knew_ everything. Saw the fresh wounds instead of the current scars the incident had left behind. 

“Thankfully,” Rodrigue spoke, bringing Sylvain back from his thoughts. “I had planned on grilling for you for lunch so everything will be fresh” Rodrigue smiled as he made his way to the backyard. “Why don’t you get acquainted with everyone and then you can join me. Your dad says you grill better than anyone he’s ever met!” 

_I’ve never grilled in my life_ is what Sylvain wants to say. Instead he smiles and laughs, “Yeah I’ll be right out soon enough!” 

His smile stays on even as Rodrigue steps out of the room. Stays on even as he wants to do nothing more than to go up to Felix and strangle him for stealing his cat from him, but instead he turns to the group that is circling Felix and puts his attention on them. Despite how much he desperately wanted to not talk about the elephant in the room he knew he couldn’t just ignore them all. If Rodrigue had stayed they could have all pretended that this was their first time meeting Sylvain but no. Goddess be damned, Sylvain was going to have a shitty time and that was final! 

“Well fuck me I guess” Sylvain mumbled to himself before locking eyes with Dimitri and figuring that if there was someone that he held no bad feelings to and who he probably should apologize to for being a shit friend, it was him. He smiled at him as he stepped forward, “Dimi I’ve missed you man” he said as he wrapped his arms around the blonde. Taking note that holy shit was he _big_ now, like, a professional athlete kind of big. 

“Sylvain” Dimitri breathed out, almost in relief as he returned the hug. “It’s been a long time hasn’t it?” 

“Yeah and I’ll take full blame on that one” Sylvain smiled as he stepped back, putting an unnecessary amount of effort to ignore everyone but Dimitri in the room. “Shouldn’t have just ghosted you like that, you were a good friend to me. And I really did miss playing basketball with you and stuff.” 

“Well I still play every now and then with some friends so maybe you can join us next time. I’m sure you’ll beat all of us though since your three pointer was always getting in the way of anyone’s plans” Dimitri smiled in that pure and honest way that he always did even back in high school. 

“Ah yeah not sure, haven’t touched a basketball in a long time” Sylvain shrugged as he crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back lazily. “Goddess knows that I’m not in shape for that either, been too busy with work to stay fit like I was in school.” 

Dimitri frowned, “but you loved basketball.” 

Sylvain cringed, this was heading towards the no no zone he had made into his mind (aka the Felix and Sylvain dispute). “Well, things change I guess.” 

“Well my offer still stands” Dimitri spoke, his eyes scrutinizing Sylvain for what he had said, looking for a crack in the walls he put up between him and everyone else. “But my apologies I haven’t let you catch up with everyone.” 

Sylvain's smile tensed as he looked over to the rest of the group. “You remember Ingrid right” Dimitri asked with a painfully oblivious smile. 

“How could I forget” Sylvain breathed out before smiling at her. “Been a while.” 

“You could say that,” she answered coldly. Alright, she was as happy to see him as he was to see her. Duly noted. 

“And you remember Mercedes” Dimitri quickly moved on and Sylvain immediately felt himself smile, genuinely smile. 

“Goddess Mercie” Sylvain spoke before hugging the blonde girl and actually lifting her up and twirling her around, her giggles and laugh genuinely making him happy. “I’ve missed you so much Mercie. Math class was never the same without you.” 

“I’ve missed you too Sylvain” Mercedes spoke as Sylvain finally let her go. “I certainly got very lonely without you in math too. And I definitely got worried when you didn’t show up to school or answer my calls.” 

Sylvain chuckled nervously, “yeah sorry. Change my number, transferred to another school, you know the usual — but Mercie you look amazing! You finally cut your hair like you always wanted! I told you you would look amazing with short hair.” 

“Yes, I’m really happy with it honestly” Mercedes smiled. “It’s easier to have short hair in the bakery.” 

Sylvain's smile widened, “You did it didn't you? You opened up your bakery?” 

“Not yet, I’m still saving up money for some final things I need but soon I’ll have it” Mercedes spoke. 

“Please Mercie if you need money I’ll give you whatever you need” Sylvain spoke as he pulled out his phone, more to check on the message that Lorenz had sent him but also he literally could transfer her whatever he needed to since his bank account was tied to one of the business accounts which meant that he had unlimited money that he would not hesitate to give to someone like Mercedes. If someone would put that money to good use it would be her. 

“Oh no please Sylvain I can’t let you do that” Mercedes quickly spoke as she pushed down his phone gently. “But thank you, really.” 

“Why not? Haven’t you heard? Money’s all I’m good for these days” Sylvain shrugged without care and that immediately earned him a light slap on his arm from Mercedes and a frown. 

“Don’t say that” she scolded and that just made Sylvain laugh. He had forgotten how much she genuinely cared for him, probably the first girl he had ever met that didn’t want him for his money or status. 

“Alright alright” Sylvain chuckled before turning over to the last man in the room, someone he had not met, from what he could remember. 

“My name is Dedue” a tall man that oddly looked intimidating but also like a teddy bear spoke. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Haha I hope nothing too bad” Sylvain cringed, it would have been nice if he didn’t hear anything about him _at all_ but of course that wasn’t the case. Why would it!

“Just everything from high school” Dedue answered bluntly. 

Now that immediately made Sylvain’s jaw clench. He was really starting to wish he had properly dated and then broken up with Felix, at least he would have had the satisfaction of controlling how people would see that incident because now he had to trust that Felix hadn’t fucked him over in all of the eyes of the people in the room. But Sylvain hadn’t become a successful business man without knowing how to fake his emotions. This was nowhere near enough for him to break his nice mannered persona with just that kind of comment. The show must go on even if it's a bitch to go through, was once what Dorothea had told him during a bad business meeting. 

Sylvain sighed as he crossed his arms behind his head, “well, I’m sure that everyone had very nice things to say about me. But hey, you’re from Duscur right? I could tell by the accent, I went there a couple of years back, did a whole trip with my friends where we went to as many countries as we could. The food there was enough for me to never want to leave, I shit you not I have never had something that was both so perfectly savory and sweet like the dishes in Duscur. God I dream of eating that one dish, I won't try to pronounce it because as much as I tried to learn Duscurian, my tongue never got most of the syllables to sound right — but the one that has like four different types of cheeses and it was in some kind of bread, some had spinach and others had duck I think, not entirely sure but that dish. I dream about it once a month I shit you not.” 

Instantly the man's eyes softened though his face was still blank as a board but Sylvain patted himself on the back for even being able to soften this giant even a little. “Not many people have tasted my people’s cuisine. I am glad that you had the chance and actually enjoyed it, though I am surprised that you and your friends went to visit Duscur. Not a very big tourist attraction.” 

“We really just did a whole swipe through the continents above Fodland. One of my friends always wanted to go to Almyra, the other Dagda, and I studied in Sreng for my last year of highschool and even stayed behind to get my bachelors there so I wanted to revisit where I had lived during that time. Then we thought that Duscur would be a nice addition and make it a whole continental journey — it's beautiful, pictures don’t do it justice” Sylvain answered, practically gripping onto Dedue’s conversation and holding on to it. At least this way he wouldn’t have to deal with the awkward ‘Felix and him kind of dated’ topic. But small mercies could never be given to him, at least not today of all days. 

“So you that’s where you ran off to” Glenn’s voice spoke up, effectively silencing the room and making the atmosphere a hundred times more tense than Sylvain wanted. 

Dimitri frowned, “Glenn.” 

“Dimitri,” Glenn spoke, a warning in his tone as he looked at the blonde with stern eyes. Then quickly turning his attention back to Sylvain. “Sreng?” 

Sylvain might have spent the better part of his life lying and hiding his emotions but even now he couldn’t make himself keep acting. His mask shattered as he turned to look at Glenn, a small dry chuckle leaving him as he looked at the man, “They have a wonderful business program.” 

Glenn tensed, glaring at Sylvain as he curled his hands into a fist. “Is that so?” A warning. A warning Sylvain did not care for. 

“Don’t really understand why anyone would care where I went though,” Sylvain shrugged, crossing his arms behind his head and shifting to put his weight on one foot. He knew why, knew damn well that most of the shit that Felix had said that day that he yelled at him had been just because he was frustrated and scared for Glenn and not actual hatred for Sylvain. That Felix most definitely had not intended for Sylvain to give up on them that quickly and disappear. That nobody in this room had expected him to run, much less without saying goodbye. But he didn’t care, it had hurt as hell and Sylvain wasn’t nice enough to let that kind of thing go without punishment, at least not anymore. 

Glenn immediately took a step forward, judging by his white knuckled fist, Sylvain could take a guess what he wanted to do, but he didn’t make it very far. Stopping at the touch of Dimitr’s hand on his chest, back turned to Sylvain, shielding him from the man. “Glenn.” A warning, no — a command. One that Glenn listened because he was suddenly scoffing and looking away. Dimitri only shook his head before turning to Sylvain and grabbing his wrist. Leading him outside where Rodrigue was cooking and putting on a smile that Sylvain could proudly say, did not look _that_ fake. 

“I think it would be best that you speak with Glenn” Dimitri spoke calmly. “He seems rather upset about something.” 

“What happened?” Rodrigue immediately asked as he looked at Dimitri concerned. To be fair it literally had just been a couple of minutes since he had left them alone. 

“Nothing, just think it would be for the best,” Dimitri answered as he took the grilling tongs from Rodrigue and handed them over to Sylvain, he sucked even more at cooking than Sylvain, even when they were younger Sylvain knew that much. 

Rodrigue sighed, understanding something that Sylvain was oblivious to, before walking away, something told Sylvain that Rodrigue was used to the entire scene that had just unfolded in front of him. Still, Sylvain was now left to look down at the tongs and pray to all the grilling gods as he walked over to the grill. 

“Sorry about Glenn, he is… very protective of Felix” Dimitri whispered as he looked back to the house. 

Sylvain chuckled, “given everything I’m not really shocked” he shrugged as he flipped over one of the steaks. He remembered Lorenz once mentioned not to over flip steaks because it would cause it to be unevenly cooked in one of their cooking competition show marathons that always caused the purple man to go on tangents. At least that’s what he hoped he had said and not ‘these buffoons are forgetting to flip constantly!’

Dimitri frowned at that comment and Sylvain knew that he should probably go back and apologize to everyone in that room about how he had left things. Definitely should try and put effort into fixing things between Dimitri and him because he got the shit end of that stick in every kind of way. He lost his fucken parents and Sylvain still fucken left him because his kind of boyfriend yelled at him? Goddess Sylvain would forever be asking for Dimitri’s forgiveness for leaving him like that. 

Sylvain chuckled slightly, oh how everything would be so much easier if he had just fucken talked to Felix after that incident instead of running away like a coward. Maybe things would have worked out between them, maybe Felix would have apologized and tried to make things better. Or maybe everything still would have gone to shit but Sylvain would have been able to keep in touch with Dimitri and Mercedes. Two people that genuinely were his friends and yet he put them on the cutting board without hesitation. Goddess, was he an asshole that didn’t deserve either of them at all. 

“Sylvain?” He immediately turned to find Dimitri staring at him, a smile, calm and genuine on his face. 

“You always end up getting the shit end of all my fights don't you?” Sylvain mumbled before sighing and cutting up some of the jalapeños that were on the cutting board. Because of course there was going to be jalapeño poppers, this was Felix’s family. What more could Sylvain expect? 

It was quiet for a couple of seconds until there was small shuffling and Dimitri was standing besides him, back leaning on the counter, looking out into the yard for a couple of seconds before breaking the silence. “You are someone I care a lot about Sylvain. I know that in retrospect we...we were not in each other’s lives for that long and nor was I as important to you as Felix most have been. But I want you to know that that year that I met you was one of the happiest in my life. I had been very nervous to try be in basketball since none of my other friends wanted to join it with me and I have never been very good at making friends.. and I know that even among the team some of them were only humoring me when they talked to me but you were someone that genuinely became a friend of mine. You helped me become a better player and even helped me with school and how to get out of my comfort shell. You were a good friend to me Sylvain, one that I cared a lot about.” 

“Such a great friend I was though” Sylvain breathed out. “Left you when you needed help the most and cut you off despite the fact that you had done nothing wrong.” 

“I know, and I do wish you had stayed in my life and there was a time in my life where I was angry that you hadn’t. A time where I even took my anger out on Felix for making you leave and making me lose the first real friend I had made without anyone’s help” Dimitri answered. “But as the years passed I realized that you were just a kid like us. Yeah you were older but that doesn’t hide the fact that you were a kid. A kid that got hurt by his best friend and betrayed in a way that none of us can ever understand, so you did what you could to keep yourself protected. I cannot blame you for that.” 

“You were a kid too Dimitri” Sylvain answered as he turned to look at his friend. “What I went through is nothing compared to what you went through. There’s no excuse for me to just leave without at least saying goodbye to you.” 

“No but it’s foolish to compare each other’s pasts,” Dimitri smiled before looking down at his hands. “I have been going to therapy for many years now, it has helped me — I am not trying to say to go therapy that is not my place at all — what I’m trying to say is that. Thanks to my doctor I have been able to understand a lot of the things that happened to me and understand everything that has happened around me. I was really naive and oblivious as a child so a lot of things passed through my eyes and I thought that everything was perfect, that nothing bad was around me.” 

Sylvain stayed quiet, keeping his focus on the way the steaks sizzled on the grill. 

“Looking back at that year now I realize that I never saw you in anything but long sleeves. That you always wore an undershirt when we changed in the locker rooms or even during games. How no one was allowed inside your house or how your parents were never there for your games. As an adult I recognize now that when you told us that year that you hurt your shoulder falling down some stairs that there was so much more to that story than I had originally thought” Dimitri whispered. 

His words making Sylvain tense, his past was one that he never liked to talk about or have people point out. His brother was dead now, had been for two years, but the scars of all of his hatred and anger still littered Sylvains body. There were still nights when he would wake up crying at the memory of his brother’s abuse. Sylvain still couldn’t be put into tight closed places without remembering. Sylvain remembered all the ways that he had used to cope with his home life, the scars that still littered his wrists and the smoking addiction that he was still struggling to break years after the fact. 

“One time Felix got drunk while we were in college, it was the first time that he had gotten drunk to my knowledge. We were home for vacation though and so it was just Ingrid, Glenn, and I” Dimitri continued, his lone eye glazing over as he looked out to the yard. “He had so much to drink that it was as if flood gates had been broken and suddenly he was telling us everything. About how he had been the first person to figure out your lies and been there to help you whenever your brother was around. How he had been the first person to question why you always covered your wrists. That he had been the first person that had been there for you — the first person that had seen through everything and found the pained and scared side of you. The first person you trusted enough to show that side to.” 

Sylvain tensed, bringing his hand to grip at his wrist instinctively. It had been years, long enough that there were days that he didn’t even remember that there were scars there at all. But that did not erase those memories, nights spent alone with nothing but the haunting words from his brother urging him to do it deeper than the night before. He didn’t think about it now, but that did not hide the scars that still remained. 

“That night we all learned why exactly he had been so frantic about getting to talk to you again and apologize. Why he had been so scared when the weekend was over and you weren’t there...” Dimitri spoke. “What I’m trying to say is that, before you try and say that you weren’t a good friend because you weren’t there for me after the accident. Realize that I wasn’t there for you then. You might not have been there when I woke up in the hospital bed, when Felix was in the waiting room scared to lose his brother— but we weren’t there for you when your shoulder got injured. We weren’t there for you when your brother was disowned. That you were completely justified to run away and cut us all off if it meant protecting yourself because you were in a place where you _had_ to run in order to survive. You didn’t have the luxury to just push an argument like that to the side and keep smiling — You had to put your mental health first before anyone else’s and I’m glad that you did even if it hurt you and everyone else around because now you’re here. You’re okay now... You were justified, Sylvain. It’s okay.” 

“Fuck” Sylvain breathed out as he desperately tried to stop the tears he had been fighting back the entire time from falling down his cheeks. Trying desperately to hide the way his hands were shaking but all it took was for Dimitri to place his hand on his back and suddenly Sylvian was curling forward and letting silent tears fall down his cheeks. He had never known that he needed to hear all of that, that he needed to be told that he had done the right thing by walking away. Always hating himself for being a coward and ruining what he had before by disappearing. But now with Dimitri’s words he could feel the pressure in his chest lightening and the weight on his shoulders lifting. It was the first breath of fresh air that he had gotten in years and it was liberating. To have the chains that were tied around his neck be chipped away from an old friend. 

But he was still in Felix’s house, he was still in a place where he couldn’t just shred all the walls and let himself bleed out all this pain. He quickly brought his hand up and rubbed his eyes until the tears stopped. Breathing in deeply before shaking his head. “Thank you Dimi,” Sylvain breathed out as he continued to grill, making sure that in the small amount of time he had let himself cry that nothing had burned. “Look at you becoming all sage like with your words. You sure you’re the younger one between the two of us?” 

Dimitri chuckled, “only because I have gotten help all these years. Are you okay now though?” 

Sylvian sighed, “I will be. Eventually. Guess I just have to get through this.” He muttered as he waved his hand towards the direction of Felix’s house. 

“You will” Dimitri smiled before looking down at the grill. “I must admit though, I cannot help you out with this as I do not have much knowledge on grilling.” 

“You and me both buddy” Sylvain laughed. 

Eventually, Sylvain finished grilling despite all odds, and even threw in some grilled eggplant with cheese and finished up the jalapeno poppers. Lorenz had taught him how to cook all of those years back when he had tried to go vegetarian in college after Dorothea talked him into it. He eventually stopped but now weirdly enough, the best things he could cook were vegetarian dishes.... If the meat sucked at least he could fall back on those. The entire time he had been grilling he was thankful for the small talk that Dimitri had started with him. During their time away from each other Dimitri had actually gotten engaged and was about to graduate and hopefully go into law school. It was nice to hear about all the ways that his friend had managed to pick up the pieces of his life and make it better and happier for him. Sylvain was genuinely proud of Dimitri and told him as such. 

Thankfully for him, when Dimitri and him got back into the house all but Glenn and Rodrigue were there. Dedue was placing dishes out on the table that looked so good that Sylvain was thankful that people would still have food in case his meat _sucked_. Annette of course, was the first to notice them and the way she beamed reminded Sylvain of an actual firefly, it was crazy. Small, cute, and bright as all hell. Weird that he couldn’t remember her at all.

“Oh just in time! Dedue just finished the sides” Annette said as she walked over to Felix and attempted to pet Jin. Felix immediately flinched away as Jin hissed — the two were perfect for each other. Both prickly and shitty towards everyone but themselves, Sylvain chuckled at his thought before placing the food on the table and turned to Dedue. 

“I’m excited if you’re the one that cooked” he smiled and once again felt like he had won the lottery when Dedue softened. 

“Thank you, the meat looks delicious,” he answered, lifting an eyebrow when Sylvain flinched. 

Sylvain leaned over to him, finding him as an unlikely ally in this entire situation especially after finding out he was Dimitri’s best friend and not one of Felix’s friends. “This is the first time I have ever grilled in my entire life. It might not be edible. Dimitri tried to help but the jury's out on whether it was a good thing or not for me to hand the tongs over to him towards the end.” Dedue’s blank face did nothing to calm Sylvain’s nerves but he couldn’t really interrogate Dedue on what he was thinking because that would mean letting everyone in the room know about his failings and well. The meat was cooked so there was no going back now. 

“Where’s Rodrigue” Dimitri asked as he sat down next to Felix, Jin still in his arms…. 

“Him and Glenn had to go back to work sadly” Ashe replied before turning to Sylvain. “They both apologize for not being able to stay.” 

“That’s fine, technically, I was late” Sylvain laughed as he sat down and turned to look at Felix and the cat. “He’s going to jump on the table and eat everything if you keep him on your lap.” 

Felix’s response to that comment was to simply grab a piece of the meat and give it to Jin… had it not been for Dimitri’s gasp, Sylvain would’ve thought he had imagined it but the fact was that yes, Felix had just given Jin a probably very expensive piece of meat and effectively shut any further complaints from Sylvain about the cat being on the table. He felt that no one would really be able to blame him when he burst out laughing at that, for a split second he completely forgot that he was supposed to be Sylvain, heir to a multimillion security company on a lunch date with an arranged fiancé that he had kind of dated before and left on a bad note with. He was instead Sylvain, someone that had once been their friend, someone that had cared for them and had given mostly everyone here a ride back to their houses after school or taken them out to the movies. Going so far as to _snort_ while he laughed, having to look away from Felix because just seeing him with Jin was enough to make him go into another laughing fit. 

“Goddess you can’t just” Sylvain wheezed out as he whipped away a stray tear that had escaped his eyes. “You can’t just do that.” He said as he looked up and found Felix staring at him wide eyed and face fully flushed. He immediately looked down at Jin and tried very ineffectively to hide the fact that he was blushing, at what? Sylvain had no idea but the blush itself was really cute…. Sylvain hated that he thought that. 

“Felix please” Ingrid sighed as she sat down on the table. “It’s an insult to Sylvain’s cooking that you’re giving it to the cat.” 

“Oh no don’t worry about it” Sylvain shrugged as he reached over to pour himself some soda. “Not like he isn’t eating all of my food back at my house anyways.” 

“He looks super pampered, his fur is really well taken care of too” Ashe spoke. “I used to work at a pets grooming salon a few years back and I used to hate people that had long fur animals but never brushed them.” 

“Yeah, well if I ever forget to brush him even for one day I wake up to a lovely _lovely_ surprise called having my toes chewed on and my curtains shredded to pieces” Sylvain replied.“That or when I get up to make coffee he’ll jump me from his cat tower and go for my jugular like the little predator that he is.” 

“Good boy” Felix mumbled which was entirely illegal because it was oddly cute but also Sylvain was not joking about Jin jumping him. He had scratch marks to prove that. 

“Felix” Dimitri gasped and was already turning to try and apologize to Sylvain about Felix’s comment but in his hysteria, managed to drop his cup of water. What ensued after that was a lot of I’m sorry’s, a lot of ‘it’s okay’ from Dedue and Ashe, some giggling from Annette and Ingrid, and a smirk from Felix who was back to petting Jin like an evil villain from a shitty kids movie. All in all, Sylvain was reminded how much he missed this. It was nice but once again he felt a little disgusted at himself for liking this when everyone here was being _forced_ to put up with him. When he had been the one to kill this off even if it was “justified” as had Dimitri put it.

Thankfully, the rest of the night went by so smoothly and genuinely nice enough that Sylvain didn’t have the time to think about how wrong the entire situation felt. How if it this was another world, he would have genuinely stayed friends with everyone in the room and would have loved to be a part of their lives instead of barging in like an unwanted sickness and plaguing everyone with his presence and the impending knowledge that he was going to force their friend, who had clearly hated him enough to yell all those things he had said that day, to marry him and be in a loveless marriage created for the sole reason of greed. 

“I guess it’s getting pretty late” Ashe spoke up. “We should probably all be on our way.” 

With that Sylvain immediately pulled up his phone and sent Lorenz a quick text to come pick him up (he wouldn't hesitate to help him like that after all). And he knew that he could just ask Dimitri to drop him off to avoid any awkwardness from Felix being the one to drive him back, but he also knew that he had already forced himself on everyone here for way too long now and also a lot of things had happened today so he was either getting tequila drunk or wine drunk with Lorenz. Either one was fine with him as long as it meant that he was getting drunk and crying about his feelings later that night. 

“I can drop off Sylvain” Annette spoke up with a smile. “Since I’m heading that way anyways.” 

“Oh no that’s fine” Sylvain quickly answered as Lorenz sent back a text saying he would head over once he finished some paperwork. “My friend says he’ll meet me at that coffee place two blocks from here. I wouldn’t want to bother you with that.” 

“I mean you wouldn't really be bothering anyone since we did pick you up in the first place” Annette answered as she squinted at him. Dissecting him with her stare but Sylvain was way too tired to think about what she could probably be looking for. 

“It’s fine really, he’s already on his way anyways” Sylvain waved her off as he turned down to look at Jin who had finally been freed from Felix’s arms and was roaming around. Contrary to all the insults he threw his way, Sylvain really did _love_ his cat and had planned to spend his life with the feline but he would really rather do literally anything else than have a conversation with Felix (he had not spent all night avoiding the mans stares and only giving one word replies to him for it to be ruined now) so sorry Jin, but I’ll get you back next time, Sylvain thought as he leaned down to pet his head. “You better behave okay? Can’t ruin my good rep with Mr. Fraldarius.” 

Jin hissed — Sylvain was unsurprised. 

“You’re the worst” Sylvain sighed as he stood up and tried to walk away but he should have known better than to ever turn away from the hell spawn that was his cat because he was suddenly feeling claws on his back and a tiny force propelling him forward as he tried to tackled him to the ground. Thankfully Sylvain was a 6 foot tall man that did actually go to the gym (even if wasn't as much as he did in the past) so all Jin, a 7 month kitten, was only able to was make Sylvain curse as the damn beast clawed his way up his back, over his shoulder, and into his arms where he promptly began to purr and ask for affection. 

“Is he always like this?” Dimitri asked with genuine concern. 

“Yeah he acts like a prickly bitch but in reality he loves affection and hates when I ignore him” Sylvain answered as he gently kissed his head before dropping him on the ground with no warning. He landed on his feet of course but that didn't stop him from looking absolutely betrayed by the fact that he just _dropped_ him. 

“Have you always been good with prickly types?” Annette mused as she kneeled down to pet Jin, and Sylvain hated the tone of voice she was using. The implication wasn’t lost to him and it made him genuinely cringe and unable to hide the hurt from his face. 

“You could say that” he mumbled as he put on his jacket and looked at his phone, apparently Lorenz would take a while before he could pick him up but Sylvain would literally walk home at this point. Desperate to get away from all of this. “Anyways my friend is on his way to the coffee shop so this is where I say goodbye.” 

“Let me drive you there then” Dimitri immediately spoke up with a smile. “No use walking there when so many of us have cars.” 

Sylvain sighed, damn Dimitri because now if he refused that offer he would literally look like an asshole that was clearly trying to get away from them. “Yeah I would like that, thanks” he smiled. 

Dimitri nodded as he put on his jacket and hugged everyone goodbye, Sylvain for the most part stayed by the door “texting his friend”. Yeah he had had a good time having lunch with them but he was also still not over the awkwardness of it all. He surely wasn’t at the point where he was going to be hugging anyone goodbye. Or at least he thought so until Mercedes was standing in front of him with a smile. 

“Do you want to get lunch with me tomorrow?” she asked. “We can catch up on everything that’s happened.” 

Sylvain smiled, she had been the second person that was on Sylvains ‘we have to make it up to them because I was a dick’ list. Lunch probably wouldn’t kill him. Plus she never had pushed him too much so he knew she wouldn’t interrogate him or anything. “Yeah, I would love that Mercie. Here you can give me your number.” Sylvain spoke as he handed her his phone and watched her put the digits in before handing it back to him. 

“I’ll be sure to bring you some chocolate tarts since I know you like them so much” Mercedes smiled. 

“Can’t wait” Sylvain smiled before turning to Dimitri who had finally said his goodbye and nodding to him before doing his general well mannered goodbye. “It was fun, tell Rodrigue thanks for the food. I’ll see you around I guess.” 

“We’ll see you soon” Annette smiled as the rest waved, Sylvain didn’t even bother to look towards Felix. Simply waving before heading out of the house and breathing out. 

“Do you want to head back to my house? My fiancé really wants to meet you” Dimitri asked as he walked over to his car. “Unless you actually do have some mysterious friend who is picking you up at the old abandoned coffee shop.” 

“Shit” Sylvain groaned as he banged his head on the roof of Dimitri’s car. Of course the coffee shop was closed! And of course everyone knew he was lying, damn it all. 

“My fiance makes a really mean martini” Dimitri smiled shyly and all Sylvain could do was sigh as he opened the door and got into the passenger seat. 

“Just know that I’m a messy drunk” Sylvain muttered as Dimitri started the car and laughed.


	2. You Shouldn’t Feed The Pond Ducks

Luckily for him, Dimitri didn’t talk much of the drive to his house, giving Sylvain some time to reboot from the shit show that was the lunch he was forced to have and some space. They had had a one to one but it also had been years so Dimitri wasn’t expecting Sylvain to immediately trust him enough to put down his walls and actually talk about how he was feeling. Even he could see how many fake smiles and laughs he had put on tonight.

“Alright this is it” Dimitri smiled as he pulled in to their destination and Sylvain was left to look at what was the kind of house people could only ever dream of having and he was growing a little bit proud of Dimitri. Sylvain was renting his house and he hadn’t even picked it, his dad had, so seeing what looked like the perfect home laid out in front of him did spike his jealousy if only for a little. 

“Holy shit Dimitri this is nice” he breathed out as he got out of the car. “Bet it’s prettier in the daylight.” 

Dimtri chuckled, “thank you, it took a while to find the perfect house but eventually we did. But come on, let's head inside” he said as he led Sylvain into the front door and the inside was even nicer than he had anticipated. It was crowded but in the homey kind of way, pictures and nic nacs everywhere. Throw blankets on the couch and the occasional cup on a table top but even then Sylvain could tell that some of this furniture must have cost a good amount of money. Guess Dimitri was using his inheritance for some good. 

“Mitya is that you” a voice called out and Sylvain could only smirk at the way Dimitri’s face softened. 

“Yes and I brought Sylvain over” Dimitri called out as he hung his jacket on the rack and motioned Sylvain to follow him into the kitchen. 

Sylvain immediately froze in place when he found the owner of the voice sitting with another girl on the dining room table. Sylvain desperately tried to hold back his laughter because he was supposed to be here to meet his friend's fiance, NOT someone he had been told about for _years_. Then again, today was just not his day he guessed. 

“So you’re the infamous Sylvain” the tan man spoke with a smile. “I’m Claude, this is Hilda.” 

“Oh quite the looker” Hilda giggled. 

Yup. This was them. The infamous duo that haunted Lorenz’s dreams. But like Sylvain, Lorenz had also ghosted them because of the fact that he had come out as trans and was adamant about not meeting anyone that knew about him in high school. He hadn't gotten out of his father's clutches and become the man that he had always dreamed of only to be reminded of who he used to be. Granted, Lorenz had cut off all of his ‘high school acquaintances’ as he called them, in a nicer more polite way than he had but the point stood. It wasn’t Sylvains place to mention the common factor that tied them to him. 

So he just smiled and turned to Dimitri, “so either you just scored a very beautiful lady or you scored a very sexy man, either way, consider me impressed Dimitri.” 

To that Hilda laughed while Dimitri flushed a deep shade of red, “I no — Hilda is Claude’s friend, Claude is my fiancé.” 

Claude chuckled, “Oh I like you, I see now why Dimitri was used to my kind of jokes when I first met him.” 

“Yeah Dimitri was telling me about that, honestly I’m just proud that he was apparently able to flirt back now that I see how you look” Sylvain smiled as he swung his arm across Dimitri’s shoulders and squeezed him. “Poor thing couldn't even handle me being platonically flirty, I can only imagine how badly he stopped functioning when you flirted with him.” 

“Oh he ran into a wall, it was really cute” Claude smiled and Sylvain could here Dimitri muttering to himself about how embarrassing that was. 

“Well I’m happy that you found that cute and that you’re here for him. Goddess knows he deserves all the love in the world” Sylvain smiled before turning to look outside and finding an absolute behemoth of a dog looking at him. 

Now Sylvain has a cat, or _had_ a cat, but he was in all honesty way more of a dog person and just hadn’t been able to get a dog yet. (Emphasis on yet because it was going to happen even if Jin killed him for it). So he was on complete autopilot when he walked over, opening the door to the backyard despite Dimitri saying something to him, and then watched as the dog did a full body wiggle from happiness before it jumped on him. Naturally the dog was again, ginormous (he guessed it was an Alaskan Malamute or a mix of one at least) and so him jumping on someone would be cause for concern however, Sylvain was very much used to having Dorothea run and jump into his arms on an almost a weekly basis whenever she got bored and so the minute the dog was airborne he was able to catch him and then hold him in his arms as the dog proceeded to lick his face with no problem at all. 

“Hi buddy, well aren’t you handsome,” Sylvain cooed as the dog continued to lick him, adjusting his hold so the dog and him looked like they were hugging now. 

“Is everyone from Faerghus fucken ripped or what the hell” Hilda gasped as Claude laughed. 

“I-I’m so sorry Sylvain he has a really bad habit of jumping” Dimitri quickly apologized as he came to most likely force the dog down. 

“You act like I care” Sylvain smiled as he hugged the dog and gave it a kiss. “I love him. He’s my newfound love.” 

“Keep him, he sheds too much” Claude joked before he stood up and walked over to the kitchen, “anyways want something to drink?” 

“Yes, I was promised a martini” Sylvain answered as he attempted to put the dog down but the dog simply clung to his body and so he decided instead to sit on the floor instead and let the dog wiggle into his lap and beg for attention. 

“Ooooh we pulling out the alcohol already,” Hilda giggled. 

“Well it is Friday night, and what better way to spend it am I right?” Claude laughed. 

What proceeded then was what Sylvain could in all honesty call, pure relaxing fun. Turns out that Claude and Hilda where just the kind of people that Sylvain could get along pretty easily with like they could play uno dare without killing anyone kind of easy, mix that with the fact that neither of them were asking anything about his past or the obvious elephant in the room, and well, Sylvain was four martinis in when Dimitri (the only sober person in the room) inevitably put the alcohol away for the night. 

“One second, I need a smoke” Sylvain slurred as he got up from his chair and patted his jeans until he found the small box and lighter. 

Dimitri frowned, “you smoke?” 

“Better than all the other things I’ve done,” Sylvain replied, his tongue loose from all the alcohol. “Past one addiction and on to the next that’s what Gautier’s are good for. I’ll step outside though so don’t hold the party just for me” he called out as he walked outside, the dog who Sylvain found out was named Leo, only eyed him curiously as he walked past him and closed the door. 

The backyard was a very...very… _very_ big. He swore that you could keep a horse in this and it would have enough running space to be happy. And it was so fucken _nice_. The lawn was well kept and there was even a garden lining the walls, (what’s up with Faerghus people having gardens, Sylvain felt left out) and a grilling section with an outdoor dining room. Then there was the pool, it was breathtaking. It was one of those natural pond looking pools with a literal waterfall and was so massive that Sylvain knew that literally everyone he knew could jump in and they wouldn’t be crowded. He also knew he was drunk enough to avoid that area and so he decided to sit by the makeshift dining area and light up his cigarette instead of jumping in like he wanted to. Breathing in and letting himself space out for a couple of seconds. Looking up at the night sky and listening to his own steady heart beat. It was only once he heard a chair scraping at the floor that he looked forward to find Claude getting comfortable in his seat. 

“Thought you might enjoy the company” Claude smiled. 

“Love company, especially love when someone’s nice enough to wait until the proper moment to interrogate someone,” Sylvain smirked and instantly Claude chuckled and put his hands up. 

“In my defense, Hilda was suppose to leave two hours ago so I was just planning on talking to you whether Dimitri was in the room or not” Claude explained. 

“I don’t mind. Ask away” Sylvain chuckled, “Goddess knows I’ve drank enough to keep me nice and open for you.” 

“As if four martinis are enough to get someone like you drunk” Claude rolled his eyes before leaning forward and inspecting the red head. His eyes shifting to the same calculating stare that Sylvain had found in Lorenz’s eyes a couple of times, he guessed it was an alliance thing. But the stare was there nonetheless and Sylvain knew it well enough to know that Claude was trying to figure out how to ask him something without overstepping boundaries. 

“You want to know what happened that day don't you?” Sylvain spoke as he took a drag of his cigarette and breathed out, mindful to breathe away from Claude. “What Felix said to me.” 

“I’ve only been told by Dimitri that he used personal information against you, said things that made you run away” Claude spoke, his voice serious and collected, nothing like it had been the past few hours Sylvain had been with the man. 

“Listen, your fiancé already made me cry tonight so don’t expect any water works from me,” Sylvain said as Claude chuckled lightly. 

Sylvain looked up to the sky for a couple of seconds, with time he had learned that keeping things locked away weren’t the best thing for him, had carefully peeled back his layers thanks to the help from Dorothea and Lorenz but even still. Talking had never been his forte and yet, Claude had the kind of air to him where Sylvain didn’t mind opening up. Maybe it was because he was obviously a good enough person that Dimitri had fallen in love with him, or maybe it was all those stories Lorenz told him about Claude helping him out in high school when he was getting bullied. Either way, Sylvains tongue was more loose than it had been in a while. 

“I had an older brother, his name was Miklan. He’s dead now, died two years ago — and don’t bother with condolences he was horrible. He hated me because my father preferred me over him. I was five years old when my father said that I would be the one to inherit the company instead of Miklan, I took that from him, stole everything from him, and so all Miklan could do was take his anger out on me” Sylvain spoke as he took another drag. “That led to my father taking his anger out on him and as I got older he even took it out on me because I was stupid enough to let myself get hurt by someone like Miklan. Of course no one knew about that, the two were smart enough to never leave any bruises where people might notice. Eventually Miklan got disowned when I was 17, came at me with a knife. Stabbed me right on my shoulder and tore all the muscles there and crushed some bones too. Still have that scar on my shoulder… every time it rains I feel it.” 

Claude stayed quiet, knowing that this wasn’t the time to show any kind of pity or concern, Sylvain still had a lot more to say before he could get distracted by that. 

“I never got past Miklan, even now that he’s dead that’s something I will carry with me till I die. It was my birth that took everything from him. It was my fault that he was disowned and then found dead in the streets years later from a heroin overdose” Sylvain whispered, flicking the tail end of his cigarette to get rid of the ashes. “During high school no one knew, obviously no one knew. I was a good liar even then. Even Dimitri never found out, and for a long time neither had Felix… it wasn't until one day after my brother had gotten especially mad at me, that Felix noticed the way that I flinched when he hugged me. I don't know why, but I told him everything when he asked me what happened. I don’t know why — but I let him in.” 

Sylvains voice was cracking and Claude could only look down, he knew all too well how scary it was to trust someone with personal things. To this day he still struggled to let people know about his past and what bothered him, he could only imagine how it would be if he was put in that situation. For him to open up to someone he cared for like Dimitri and for Dimitri to turn around and use that information against him. 

“After that Felix was always there to help me, got me to even stop hurting myself once he found out about that too. Held my hand the night my brother was disowned and wiped away my tears. He was there for me when no one else was but that was so selfish of me to do. He was two years younger, he was fucken younger and I let myself depend on him” Sylvain breathed out. “Because of that I felt like I always had to be there for him when he needed me. There were days I would sneak out of my house at 3 am to go to Felix’s just because he called me saying he had a nightmare and didn’t want to be alone. Anytime he would have an argument with Glenn or Dimitri or even Ingrid, I would always be there to wipe away his tears because he was there to do the same things for me. Honestly I think our dependency on each other was what killed us.”

He took another drag.

“...Then I wasn’t there for him that night, too fucken busy with basketball to figure out the fact that he needed me. But you know, he never texted me. Even if I was busy I always had his contact with the loudest most obnoxious ringtone so that I never missed a text or a phone call. He never texted me, he just expected me to show up like I always did for everything else” Sylvain whispered as he took another drag, staying quiet for a couple of seconds before continuing. “I called him and I texted him when I found out but he never answered any of them, I left so many voicemails begging him for forgiveness and that I was sorry I hadn’t been there for him.” 

“...The next time I saw him I was going to apologize, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness but I didn’t even get a single word out before he was yelling” Sylvain whispered, his eyes glazing over at the memory of that night. The night that still caused his chest to tighten and hurt despite all the years that have passed since then. “The gist of what he said, because I can’t — I won’t repeat what he said, but he called me selfish, called me worthless. Said that all I was good for was using people until I left them dead and dried. That all I was good at was being a pretty face and nothing more. That he was foolish to have ever loved me when anyone that ever got into my life ended up suffering because of me. Said that he should have expected this when all I knew was how to steal from other people and never give anything in return. All I knew was how to ruin people’s lives.” 

Claude closed his eyes, knowing now why the words that Felix had said had caused Sylvain to run. Knowing why Dimitri had said that he had forgiven Sylvain despite leaving him when he was the most vulnerable. It made sense now. It made so much sense. 

“I know he didn’t mean any of those words, I know that he was just mad and hurt that I had left him alone when he needed me. That he was so scared about everything that had happened that entire week and that I became his outlet for that” Sylvain spoke, his voice hollow and quiet. “But he was right in a way. Everyone near me to this point has gotten hurt because of me. I take from everyone and then disappear on them.” 

“You had your reasons why you left” Claude immediately cut in. “No one blames you for that Sylvain.” 

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t do exactly what he said” Sylvain smiled before taking one final drag before extinguishing the cigarette bud. “It’s fine. I’ve gotten better with what happened, gotten to the point that I know I’m not what he said I am at least not entirely. Not really going to therapy like Dimitri but I have friends that keep things real and honest with me. Just sucks that now that I’m finally getting over this I’m being thrown back into that shit.” 

“Yeah I can understand that,” Claude whispered. “If it makes you feel any better, Dimitri has been nothing but genuinely excited about getting the chance to see you again. Part of me even got a little jealous at how much he talked about you, made me question whether or not he had a crush on you in high school or something.” 

Sylvain chuckled, “he’s always been like a little puppy honestly.” 

“Oh yeah he’s so tiny” Claude smiled. “But come on, you can crash in our spare for tonight and we’ll drop you off in the morning okay?” 

“Yeah thank you” Sylvain whispered before looking at the man. “Seriously though, thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled. 

~ X ~ 

The cure to a horrible hangover and a sore body from having to sleep with Leo (who was not a good bed mate as much as Sylvain had prayed for it), was and always had been, breakfast with Lorenz. A weird tradition born from the first time Sylvain had come into their Sreng dormitory after a very eventful night out and Lorenz had decided to show him pity and take him out to have a breakfast date with him. Nowadays it wasn’t as common as before but at least now it was much more pleasing than just some shitty breakfast from McDonalds. It just so happened that Gautier security was located close enough to a park that he could hide there without being worried about not being able to run back to work if emergencies came up. Plus it had a nice gazebo with a picnic table under it that was right next to the pond that had the meanest ducks known to mankind. So obviously, this was the perfect place to take one hungover twenty something year old and feed him copious amounts of sugary confections while he grunted about whatever had led him to get this hangover in the first place. It was a nice tradition, and one that now as he threw some oats to one of the ducks, he was thankful for. 

“How was lunch with Felix and his family?” Lorenz asked as he poured Sylvain some tea from his thermos. Sylvain had sent a total of five messages to him since he had last seen him. Three were about the impromptu lunch meeting, one was a picture of martini with the caption of ‘you’ll never guess who made this’, and the last was this morning telling him to meet him at the park at 9 am. He could guess how the lunch was but he still wanted him to talk about it to him. 

“He stole my cat” Sylvain mumbled as he threw an oat again, with a little more force than he had intended, causing it to sink into the water and for a hoard of ducks to dive down to grab it. 

“Your cat?” 

“He stole my fucken cat Lorenz.” Sylvain whined as he hid his face in the crook of his arm. “He came to my house, fell in love with my cat, and then _took_ him like the selfish bastard that he is.” 

“I see” Lorenz hummed as he laid out some pieces of cake out on the table. “So Jin is with him right now?” 

“Yes” Sylvain sighed before looking up at him. “He told all of them that I gave him Jin. That he was a _gift_ like if i would ever do something like that! Felt weird not getting yelled at when I got back to my place in the morning.” 

“I’m sure with Jin’s personality, he’ll be back with you soon enough” Lorenz sighed as he pushed a chocolate chip cookie to him. “But how was the rest of the lunch? You’re not answering my question.” 

“Fine I guess, had a small slip up with his brother and I saw some old faces” Sylvain sighed as he took a bite of the cookie. “It was awkward and weird but.. it was nice too I guess…” 

Lorenz cocked his head to the side, a silent question to urge him on to explain why he had tacked on the ‘I guess’ at the end of his sentence. He had been in Sylvain’s life for years now and so he knew how to read him better than most people in his life, it was a blessing because he knew things like being able to give him some space and advice when he needed them but also was a curse in moments like these.

Sylvain grunted, “I just I don't know… it’s weird because they were genuinely really nice and I had a good time with them but it’s also like… this is so forced, Lorenz. All of this is so fucken forced and wrong.” 

Lorenz sighed, “Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe they asked to be there yesterday because they wanted to see you? That this wasn’t forced and that you’re allowed to be happy to have them back in your life again?” 

Fuck Lorenz for being able to understand what exactly had been bugging him this entire time. Not actually fuck him but it was also infuriating that he always knew what to say to make him feel better. Sylvain sighed, “Yeah well, I guess it’s better for me to get along with them since apparently this marriage is going to happen. His dad _loves_ me.” 

“Weirdly enough you’ve always managed to make people like you” Lorenz added as he poured himself some tea. 

“Yeah, he even hugs me now. Do you know how weird it is to be hugged by someone older than me? By a dad nonetheless? Fucken wild” Sylvain laughed as he finished up the cookie and moved to eat the muffins he had brought. “He’s nice though.” 

“I’m sure it was very shocking to be shown any kind of parental affection” Lorenz spoke with a monotone voice. “How about Felix? Nothing happened between you and him?” 

“No, I avoided him like the plague,” Sylvain mumbled before continuing, “and he didn’t talk much honestly so it was more like everyone else were the ones doing the talking but… he likes avoiding problems so I’m guessing that’s what‘s going on.” Sylvain finished not mentioning how Felix had managed to make him genuinely laugh or how his blush was the cutest thing he had seen in years or how when they had been eating everything had felt so right that it hurt. But judging by Lorenz stare he knew he didn’t need to voice any of those thoughts for him to know. 

“Are you planning on meeting up again?” Lorenz hummed as he bit into a muffin. “Maybe have him meet some of your friends since as you said, the marriage is happening whether you want it or not.” 

“I don’t know” Sylvain mumbled as he scratched the back of his head. 

“Well what about everyone from college?” Lorenz asked. “Dorothea is your secretary so she’s an obvious choice. Ferdinand is polite enough that he won’t act rudely. Bernadetta is quiet so she might not say much but maybe her silence will be comforting. And Caspar, well, he talks enough that it’ll make things easy and not awkward.” 

Sylvain sighed, “I guess I can do that. But I don’t know, I just really don’t want to actually hang out with him and risk having to have _that_ talk.”

“Sylvain” Lorenz spoke, tone a bit more stern than it had been the entire morning. “If you’re going to marry him it’s only natural that he meets your friends. Plus, having this conversation with him will happen eventually and you can’t run away forever.” 

“Yeah I guess you’re right” Sylvain mumbled. “Wouldn’t even know how to invite him though. Not like I have his number or anything.” 

Lorenz opened his mouth to speak but quickly clamped it shut at the approaching figures that were walking their way. “Well you might get that prayer answered.” Sylvain straightened up before turning around and making eye contact with Ashe and Ingrid. Smiling at them as they walked up to him. 

“Sylvain I knew that was you” Ashe beamed. 

“Hey man, weird seeing you here” Sylvain smiled as he stood up and hugged him. Turning around to Ingrid and smiling at her. “Good to see you Ingrid?” A question, she had softened up toward the end of their lunch but she still obviously held some grudges.

Ingrid smiled shyly before walking forward and pulling Sylvain into a hug of her own, “yeah good to see you.” 

Sylvain tensed for a second before returning the hug, stepping back from her and chuckling softly, “weird that you two found me here.” 

“We just got back from picking some stuff up,” Ashe smiled before looking over and seeing Lorenz. “Oh I’m sorry we’re interrupting aren't we?” 

“No no it’s fine” Lorenz spoke before standing up and extending his hand to Ashe. “My name is Lorenz.” 

“Ashe,” he smiled as he shook his hand, turning around to point at Ingrid. “This is Ingrid.” 

“Pleasure” Ingrid smiled. “Are you one of Sylvain’s friends?” 

Lorenz smiled, “Yes, I’ve known him since before college where I had the misfortunate luck of being his roommate when we studied in Sreng since we both were from Fodland. Can’t say we started out on a good note but I care for him deeply now and only wish for the best for him.” 

“Aaw Lorenz” Sylvain cooed as he flung his arm around his shoulders. “Didn’t know you loved me _that_ much.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself I still think that you lack class and fashion taste” Lorenz added sternly which only made Sylvain chuckle even more. “But please don’t mind me. You’re welcome to sit with us and converse. I can just work on documents while you all catch up.”

“Is it to talk about that wedding that Ferdinand’s friend is having” Sylvain asked. Lorenz could easily leave him, Ashe, and Ingrid to be alone and catch up. But leave it to Lorenz to still be slightly protective of Sylvain in his own discreet way. 

“Yes, they want to do the wedding planning through my company since they liked the way Ferdinand's wedding was, shouldn’t be too much but I do want to at least give Ferdinand all the information I can so he can give it to his friend before she decides to work with me” Lorenz replied as he gathered his coat and bags from the extra chairs and motioning the other two to sit down and pulling out his laptop. “Like I said don’t mind me, please.” 

“Alright we’ll do that” Sylvain smiled at him. 

“What company do you have” Ingrid asked as she sat down on the table, eyeing all the leftover pastries that remained. 

“He owns a wedding planning company, made it himself and everything, couldn’t be prouder” Sylvain smiled as they sat down. 

“Oh were you thinking of asking him to help with yours” Ashe asked and Sylvain was caught off guard so badly that he physically cringed at how nonchalant he was talking about the whole arrangement. 

“Uh no” Sylvain chuckled nervously, Lorenz eyeing him wearily from the side, “kind of really not putting that much input on all of this. Just letting my old man deal with everything since this was his idea.” 

Ashe frowned as he looked down at his hands, “Yes you’re right… Still, I think that maybe having your friend help with the wedding might be the best thing for you. Wouldn’t hurt bringing it up to your dad or Felix next time.” 

“We’ll see,” Sylvain shrugged as he grabbed the muffin he had been eating before and taking a bite. “Oh also help yourselves, we can’t eat this all on my own.” He said despite the fact that both him and Lorenz were fully capable of going to a buffet and eating 8 plates worth of food in one sitting if they were hungry enough.

“If you say so” Ingrid mumbled before quickly snatching up a muffin and taking a couple of bites before turning to Sylvain with a hesitant stare. “I owe you an apology. I… I did not mean to come off so rude yesterday or like I wasn’t happy to see you.. it was just hard to see you after — well, after everything that happened.” 

Sylvain smiled, “that’s fine. That’s not your fault. I didn’t take it personally.” 

“No it was wrong of me especially when what happened didn’t involve me and if anything you never did anything wrong to me. You were nothing but nice to us actually” Ingrid whispered as she looked down at her hands. “I guess I just got mad that you left after us and none of us could get in contact with you.” 

“Yeah that was really dick of me and I meant it when I said that I was sorry for ghosting you all” Sylvain replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Should’ve explained myself to you all, or at least say goodbye to you before I left.” 

“Why did you leave if you don’t mind me asking?” Ashe’s eyes were soft, it wasn't that he was trying to pry open an old wound out of malice but it was genuine concern and curiosity. Sylvain didn’t blame him, he hadn’t been there when Felix had lost it. He probably only got second hand accounts form Ingrid and she most likely couldn’t bring herself to say most of the things that Felix had said that day. Felix most definitely did not talk about what happened since he never talked about anything, Sylvain could bet his life on that.

“Well how do I put it?” Sylvain mumbled before placing his elbow on the table and resting his cheek on his hand. “After that fight with Felix I didn’t really see any point in staying in Fhirdiad. At the time I didn’t want to make you all choose a side or get anyone else involved with what happened so I pulled away instead. You were all Felix’s friends first after all and so even if you didn’t choose sides — I don't know, I just — at the time I didn't want to be involved with anyone that knew Felix or what happened between us. So I changed my number and went to Sreng and stayed there until I graduated college. Didn’t come back to this area until my dad needed me to start getting involved with the company and by then 5 years had passed.” 

Ingrid frowned, “Sylvain you have to know that that day Felix didn’t mean anything that he said to you.” 

Sylvain sighed, “maybe.” 

“Sylvain” Ingrid scolded, though her eyes were filled with concern. “The minute you walked away Felix was already trying to call you to apologize but you kept rejecting his phone calls. At first we just told him to give you time, that you would come back to him eventually… to wait a week before trying to talk to you since you clearly were avoiding him… then you weren’t there once the weekend was over and we were told you had transferred — he-he tried to apologize, Sylvain. He tried to take back everything he said. He was devastated that you disappeared! That’s why I was so cold to you yesterday because I remembered everything that happened then and how much Felix was hurting a-“

“Last time I recall I wasn’t the one that yelled at him and used personal information against him” Sylvain snapped back, his jaw clenching at the memory of that day. Ingrid stayed quiet, her eyes widened and her mouth slightly opened. “Do you know how long it took me to be able to be okay with the fact that I wasn’t there that night? That none of what happened was my fault” Sylvain breathed out, he knew he should stay quiet, to let this conversation fade away and to keep all of this locked up with a key that was only ever used when Dorothea got him drunk enough to open it. “For years I couldn’t bring myself to open up to _anyone_ for fear that they would one day use whatever I said to them against me like he did. For years I thought it was my job to help everyone I cared for even if it meant burning myself to the ground.” He breathed in, his voice strained. “You say that it was hard to see Felix hurting? Well good, because he _ruined_ me Ingrid and it isn't until now that I’ve been able to fix what he did.” 

“Sylvain” Lorenz grabbed his arm, it was only then that he realized that he was shaking. “Come on, walk with me.” He spoke calmly as he stood up, his hand I still holding on Sylvain’s. Gently tugging him until Sylvain was standing up and walking away, not able to bring himself to even look at Ingrid or Ashe anymore. 

He breathed out as he made his way to the pond, crouching down with his head in between his knees, hands running through his hair. Taking deep breaths to try and stop his body from shaking or his chest from feeling so tight it was suffocating. Letting the sound of running water and ducks soothe him and stop the growing panic attack that he hadn’t even realized he was starting to have. It was only once he had his breathing under control and his thoughts weren’t a huge muddy mess that Sylvain was able to stand back up and find Lorenz standing next to him. 

“Thank you” Sylvain mumbled as he ran his hand down his face. 

Lorenz hummed lowly before walking closer to Sylvain and putting his hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. Neither had ever been much for hugging. “You know that I have never held back my words with you Sylvain.” 

Sylvain sighed, “yeah and that’s why I love you so much.” 

“Yes I know” Lorenz answered before sighing and putting his hand down. “If you did not want to go through this engagement you would have already cancelled it.” 

“You of all people should know that that isn’t true” Sylvain answered. 

“No actually, last time I remember, I am exact proof that you can say fuck your dad and still live a good life” Lorenz answered immediately. “You were there when my dad told me that I was his dear beloved daughter and would carry on the Gleceister tradition of birthing successful politicians. You were the only reason why I was able to leave my father's grip and transition without fear. You let me live with you in Sreng so I could finish my bachelors and you invested over $7,000 dollars in my company to help make my dream come true. You helped me through all my surgeries and even helped me change my legal name. You helped me make my company and get back on my feet despite the fact that I had nothing to offer. And now I have arguably the best wedding planning company in all of Fodland and am obviously your most attractive guy friend.” 

“I don’t know, Ferdinand’s looking pretty hot these days,” Sylvain smiled. 

Lorenz rolled his eyes, “What I’m getting at Sylvain is that if you don’t want to do this then leave. Do what you actually want to do. You can live with me until you find your own place and work where you want to actually work at instead of the shitty company your dad has” Lorenz spoke. 

“That’s hopeful thinking Lorenz, I don't even know where I would work,” Sylvain sighed. 

“You truly are the biggest fool in Fodland” Lorenz sighed. “When we used to live together you used to tell me that you wanted to travel the world and become a journalist. Yes everyone loves traveling but not as much as you do. Back when we went to Almyra and Duscur, even when we were in Sreng, you were happy. You loved that. For fucks sake Sylvain someone doesn’t learn or at least attempts to learn all the languages of the countries you travel to ‘truly experience the place’. You have no reason to know Dagdan or Almyran and yet you do. You have the chance to become whoever you want to become, use your inside connections, use your skills, and do what you actually love.” 

“It’s been 8 months since the last time I traveled, Lorenz, and just because you dream hard enough it doesn’t mean that you’ll succeed” he groaned. 

“Maybe not but at least you’ll be trying to do what you love instead of being forced to work in a place you hate and be in this arranged marriage” Lorenz added before finally turning to him. “Unless you do want to get married.” 

“You know I don’t want to get married,” Sylvain snapped. 

“Do I? Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be arguing with me about not having a place to go if you leave your dad’s company because if you need a job I can hire you right here, right now Sylvain. If you don't want to work with me then I know with your expertise, Hubert or Edelgard will hire you until you get enough money to travel. But you don’t actually want to try and get out of this do you? You want to get married” Lorenz spoke, the words were meant to be a question but his tone made it so that it was hard for Sylvain to see it as anything other than a statement that Lorenz knew to be true. 

Sylvain immediately looked away and towards the lake. Did he want to get married? No of course not, an arranged marriage was literally his biggest fear coming to life. To be trapped in a relationship with someone that only saw him for his money and status. But then why wasn’t he taking Lorenz on this offer? He could do it. He could pack up his shit tonight, drop it off at Lorenz’ place and then tomorrow morning finally be able to barge into his father’s office and rip him a new one before finally being free from the life his dad had created for him. Yeah he would probably fuck over Dorothea by quitting but she also had Lorenz as her friend and that was if for some odd reason Edelgard didn’t give her a job (she had seriously mad eyed Sylvain when she met Dorothea and went as far to try and steal her from him for years). He could do it, he could uproot his entire life and survive. 

So then why wasn’t he doing that? 

“Think about what I said. Talk to everyone you know about it if you have to” Lorenz finally spoke up. “I know that you like to pretend like you finally got over Felix and what happened between the two of you….but maybe you won’t ever be over him until you talk to him about what happened between the two of you. Until you force yourself to finally recognize why it hurt you so much.” 

Sylvain mumbled, “he’s not much of a talker. Never has been.” 

“Well then you can just go up to him and yell at him the same way he did to you” Lorenz rolled his eyes before putting his hand on Sylvain’s shoulder and tugging him until the redhead was looking at him. “Whatever you choose I will help you. Whether it’s by giving you a room and a job or by obviously being your best man at your wedding. I’ll be there for you.”

“Damn Lorenz you sure you don’t want to marry me instead” Sylvain smirked and was unsurprised by Lorenz annoyed huff before walking away from him and back to the table where Ingrid and Ashe remained. “This is gonna be awkward.”

“That’s your fault entirely” Lorenz sighed before nudging Sylvain forward and walking toward the two. At least Ingrid had the decency to look guilty about causing Sylvain to snap at her, which made Sylvain feel more like an ass because obviously she didn't know his side of the story for crying out loud he ran away before anyone _could_ hear him out. 

“Sylvain-“ 

Immediately Sylvain put his hands up and smiled at her, “it’s fine, I have a killer hangover right now so I’m more snappy than usual and sound more dickish than I actually mean to. No bad blood with you Ingrid, I promise.” 

Ingrid frowned, “still, it seems like I keep ruining things between us.” 

To that Sylvain let himself chuckle before slinging his arm over her shoulders and giving her a tight squeeze, “ruin is a harsh word Ingrid, to me it’s understandable banter and nothing more.” 

“Are you okay” Ashe asked, eyeing him warily but Sylvain only waved him off. 

“I’m fine, ask Lorenz, he’ll tell you I’m always like this” he replied as Lorenz simply sighed at his theatrics before packing up his things. 

“Yes you are the most emotionally unstable friend that I have, that is a given” Lorenz replied with a smile when Sylvain gasped offendedly. 

Ashe chuckled at that as he pulled his phone out before turning to Ingrid, “Dimitri said he has the day off. Claude has a headache so he won’t be joining us, but we can still head over.” 

“Claude” Lorenz asked, immediately shooting Sylvain a stare that made the redhead mentally kick himself. Yeah should’ve mentioned that sooner, fuck. 

“Oh that’s Dimitri’s fiancé” Ingrid replied, completely oblivious to the fact that Lorenz was considering how much money he would have to pay Ferdinand’s husband to discreetly kill Sylvain off. 

“We’re all getting together at Dimitri’s house, you should join us!” Ashe spoke, a hopeful smile on his face. “You can bring Lorenz too so this time you don’t feel so out of place. I noticed you felt a bit awkward yesterday so this way you’re not alone.” 

Well this was a bitch of a situation. 

“Well I agreed to have lunch with Mercie” Sylvain quickly replied, thankful that the blonde had lowered that olive branch for him to hold onto. 

“Oh I’m sure Mercedes wouldn’t mind changing plans” Ashe said, finding it hard to hide how excited he was about Sylvain joining them. “It’ll be really fun, Dedue is cooking too!” 

Ashe's hopeful eyes were seriously killing Sylvain in a way that he never imagined. Only now does he remember who Ashe was in highschool. He had been one of Felix’s friends! From science class if his memory served him right, a shy little guy that had gotten extremely intimidated by Sylvain’s presence at first but also had gotten super excited when he found out that Sylvain had respect for medieval role playing games (he’d never played them but he found the appeal). It had been so hard to deny Ashe's request about playing DnD with him at the time, Ashe had practically tailed him for a whole month after he had inevitably allowed himself to be roped into playing dnd with him and it wasn’t until Felix told him to back off did Ashe realize he had been way too excited about hanging out with Sylvain. It was cute but fuck did Sylvain forget how hard it was to turn down and excited Ashe. 

“If you don’t mind having us then we would love to join you, but I’m afraid that I’m about to head off to work. But I would love to hang out with you all as I am very curious to meet who exactly Sylvain will be marrying. I think Sylvain and I can plan out a small get together for us all to meet. I think we would all like that better,” Lorenz spoke up suddenly and Sylvain could only look at him like a gaping fish. 

“We would?” he hissed quickly, hoping that Ashe and Ingrid hadn’t heard him. Judging by their smiles, he guessed not. 

Lorenz simply smiled, “This way all of Sylvain’s other friends can be there too and we can all get acquainted.” 

At that Ashe absolutely beamed, “oh that sounds great! I’ll let everyone know about that, we’ll be sure to bring over food and treats too, maybe we can play some board games or something!” 

Sylvain chuckled nervously, “yeah sounds fun.” 

“We can get your number from Mercedes since we have to head out” Ingrid responded, “I’m really happy that we‘re all getting back together again, and I’m excited to see the kind of people that you hang out with now.” 

“How exciting” Lorenz smiled before the four of them said their goodbyes and Sylvain was left waving goodbye to the two with Lorenz by his side, unusually quiet. 

“The fact that I did not wake up to a hundred different messages and phone calls means that Claude does not know about me, right?” Lorenz asked quietly. 

“Not my place to say.” 

Lorenz sighed, “well then I guess we both will have to suck up our problems and stop running away…. You are very lucky that I feel comfortable enough to do this for you.” 

“I am,” Sylvain answered, already knowing damn well he did not deserve such a good friend as Lorenz.

Needless to say, Sylvain only really had enough time to tell Lorenz that since he had made the ‘hanging out’ offer that he was the one to plan it before heading to check on his job, (as if planning didn’t make Lorenz the happiest person alive. The man lived for planning events). Naturally Sylvain had to be smart as to who he would invite to this get together, he was a very friendly guy so he had a lot of friends but he also knew that he couldn’t invite _some_ of them (Caspar, you’re a dear but you’re also A LOT). At the end being satisfied with telling Lorenz that he could invite Dorothea (a natural given) and Ferdinand, both for his and Lorenz’s sake since the man was a walking emotional support beam that they both had met after they moved back to Fodland and had roomed with them for that entire first year before all three inevitably got their own places (or in his place he got married). He also made sure to emphasize that only those people could come to the hangout. He knew Ferdinand would not hesitate to walk up to the gathering with not only his husband in tow but his husband’s friend group and his husband’s friends friend group. Lorenz rolled his eyes, but understood, he was also Ferdinand’s friend after all. Saying that he was going to talk to him more about what they could do to hang out and whether it should be out in a public place or in Sylvain’s house. Of course the whole idea of his friends meeting old friends and you know, having to deal with Felix once more, was not a fun thought at all.

Thankfully, his job actually required him to you know, work, and so he spent the rest of the afternoon with his mind trying to figure out how and why exactly his dad had accepted a deal with an Adrestian company and not take into account that it would be indirect conflict with the current deal that Sylvain was working on with Vestra Enterprise. Then again his father was a dumb ass so he wasn’t really surprised that now he was having to call up that company, work out a different deal with them and then gather up all his courage before calling Vestra. He was eternally grateful that the Vestra owner had patience with him, Hubert being Ferdinand’s husband and all, had warmed up to Sylvain after a couple of years of the two knowing each other despite the two having rival companies. And Sylvain will be the first to admit that at first the two never talked about their families because of the slight tension of them being rival companies but the night that he had drunk a little too many beers and had jokingly said that he would much rather sell off the ‘security’ aspect of his company and focus more on the actual manufacturing of security gadgets/ items just to piss his dad off, well suddenly Hubert was very interested in talking. Obviously his father had no clue that that was why Gautier was now talking to Vestra, that their dealings were about a joint partnership and not just pleasantries. His father would probably die if he found out Sylvain was planning on selling off the company and becoming a secondary branch to Vestra Enterprise instead of continuing the Gautier tradition of standing tall and strong. Of course he would find out whenever Sylvain inevitably inherited the company and immediately did just that, but by then Sylvain figured he wouldn’t care anymore about what his father had to say. Or that had been the plan but now everything Sylvain had set up was slowly crashing and burning so he really was just winging it now. With that in mind, Sylvain’s phone call to Hubert was not as bad as it could have been. 

“Gautier do you realize how big of a contract that is? How beneficial it would’ve been for Vestra to acquire them” Hubert spoke over the phone speaker, Sylvain didn’t have to set up a webcam to know the man was positively seething in rage 

“Fully aware of that, hence why I’m calling you instead of you know. Taking the money and bailing” Sylvain responded. “I’m trying to fix shit on my end but my dad really fucked me over here. This deal isn’t only affecting the deal we both had, it’s also affecting a lot of other shit I was working on.” 

“What the hell is your father doing?!” 

“I wish i knew, he’s too focused on money to see the future honestly. I’ll be lucky if we don’t lose out on a shit ton of money because of this” he sighed. 

“That imbecile, how the hell is he the one handling the reins when he has his head so far up his ass he can’t see his crumbling business.” That made Sylvain laugh. That made him laugh a little too hard especially when Hubert was genuinely pissed off. But can you really blame him? He loved when people insult his dad, it provided him with a good serving of serotonin.

“Yeah well that imbecile isn’t giving up the reins any time soon sadly.” 

Hubert clicked his tongue, “Does this have to do with the stupid engagement your father is forcing you into?” 

Ah of course Hubert would know about that, he’s married to Ferdinand and that man can’t keep a secret to save his life. He should’ve known the Vestra man would be aware of that situation, though now that he thought of it. Hubert would probably find out about that even without Ferdinand telling him, seems like something he would find useful to know. 

“Might be one of the many reasons” Sylvain sighed as he leaned back on his chair, twirling around his pen as he spoke. “He’s having me marry the son of Rodrigue Fraldarius.” 

“Tech company? How the hell is that beneficial to Gautier?” 

“Dear old dad wants to look into making more beneficial technology for security cameras and programming. And Fraldarius is looking into expanding their online security that they offer and the security aspects of all their Bluetooth stuff and what not. The two figured joining forces would be beneficial.” 

“That is by far the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. A partnership like that makes sense, don’t mistake my insults as me saying it doesn’t. It’s known by everyone that Fraldarius do in fact have one of the best companies out there when it comes to coding and their newly released cameras are top of the line as well. Mix that with Gautier’s annoyingly good antivirus coding-“ 

“Courtesy of me so thank you very much.”

“-I can see why the partnership will be a beneficial one. However I hardly see the reason to solidify that with marriage. There is only one possible benefit to gain from that and that is assuring this partnership but other than that there is no reason why it has to be such an extreme measure. Especially when as annoying as it is to admit this, you were the one that, as you mentioned, perfected the antivirus program so you clearly could perfect a security system without Fraldarius’ help.” 

“Hmm yes but you see that kind of thinking would require my father to admit that I’m actually good at my job and I’m just a show pony don't you know Hubie.” 

“Call me that again and I will burn your house to the ground.” 

Sylvain laughed, leaning back onto his desk so he could speak closer to the speaker. “Listen I — currently I am looking to see if this engagement is even...worth it. So don’t bank too much on that partnership for now. I’m still planning on moving Gautier into a different direction and if that were to happen I don't see the benefits in joining forces with Fraldarius.” 

Hubert stayed silent for a couple of seconds before sighing, “yes Ferdinand told me the engagement is more complicated than it sounds like on paper. I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually though. You’re good at being annoying after all.” Sylvain snickered. “Wait Sylvain… you’re a fucken dumbass.” 

“Ouch.”

“Instead of talking to your dad or even the one that owns Fraldarius now, you should be talking to _who_ will be owning Fraldarius in the future. Work a deal with them and I’m sure the two will be able to agree that marriage will be unnecessary.” 

“Ah yeah, see, problem is that well he uh...he doesn't like me” Sylvain cringed. He could definitely bet that Glenn absolutely hated him with his entire being if all the interactions with him lined up. Talking to him would definitely be out of the question.

“Even more reason why he should be willing to make this work out without marriage. Personally i wouldn't want my kid brother to marry someone that I hate” Hubert sighed and suddenly Sylvain was looking at this from a completely different angle. 

“Holy shit” he breathed out as his mind started whirling. Hubert was right, Glenn hated him! He would never let him marry Felix, he would do literally anything to stop that, even make it so that Rodrigue backed out of this and instead insisted on just doing a normal partnership. Holy fucken shit, was it really that easy? He could have everything still stay the same and just change that one small factor. Keep his life the way that it is and make it so that hanging out with Dimitri and all of them was just a friend thing to do instead of the obligated thing to do. And fuck it, if he wanted to talk to Felix he could but if he didn’t want to he wouldn’t have to. Maybe he could even sell off Gautier entirely to Hubert and just travel the world until he grew old enough that he put himself in some retirement home alongside Lorenz (he loved him but there was no way he was getting married to anyone that he knew of at least). 

“Sylvain?” Dorothea knocked as she poked her head into his office, snapping him out of his thoughts. He smiled and motioned her inside, pushing back the whirlpool that was happening inside his brain for now. 

“It’s fine, I’m talking with Hubert,” Sylvain assured her, hearing the man scoff from the other end of the line. 

“Hi Hubie! How are you, it’s been a while since I’ve heard your sweet lovely voice” Dorothea giggled. 

“Hello Dorothea, if you don’t mind. We’re in the middle of an actual important conversation” Hubert spoke. 

“Oh I’m sure since you two have been on the phone for hours now” Dorothea sighed as she sat on Sylvain’s desk, the redhead smiling at her as he took a sip of his coffee. “But I am sad to tell you that Sylvain has a prior appointment he really should head out to before he’s late.” 

“I highly doubt anything is as important as this given the track record of Mr. Gautier’s meetings and dealings.” That made Sylvain genuinely laugh. That was the main thing he loved Hubert the most, he always insulted his dad. Every opportunity he got to do so, the man never hesitated to do just that. It really was healing in a way.

“Well this one involves personal things that weren’t set up by Mr. Gautier and that person is actually here waiting for him so kind of hard for him to just put that off.” she smiled and suddenly Sylvain was cursing to himself as he took a look at his phone. It was _late_ and he had multiple texts from Mercedes and he had never felt more like an ass than that current moment. 

“I am sure he can be forgiven for that, we have yet to actually sort out the problem that involved Gautier and Vestra so this cannot be put off” Hubert insisted, his voice more agitated with each word he spoke. 

“Yes yes i know” Dorothea sighed. “He’ll call you first thing tomorrow morning okay? But he’s already running late now so bye Hubie” she spoke, hanging up the phone before the other man could respond. Sylvain eyed her questioningly, he swore she very often “forgot” that he technically was her boss. “Whoops. Anyways you have visitors.”

“Fuck I completely forgot, she hasn’t been here too long has she” Sylvain mumbled as he stood up, running a hand through his hair as he grabbed his things.

“Nah she just arrived but she’s with someone so be warned,” she explained as she helped Sylvain put on his coat and the two walked out of the office, locking it up before heading towards the elevator. “Can’t tell you who since I’ve never seen her before but know that it's a her.” 

“Hair?” Sylvain aske as the two descended. 

“Orangy red, really cute and bubbly” she smiled

“Annette, okay, she’s fine.” 

“We like Annette?” 

“We like Annette.” Sylvain assured her as the elevator dinged and the doors opened to the lobby. Instantly he spotted the two girls sitting in the lobby, Annette spotting him first with a smile as they walked over to them. “Sorry, the meeting I was having lasted longer than expected.” 

“That’s fine, Dorothea told us as such” Mercedes smiled. 

“Hope you don’t mind that I tagged along, Mercie needed a ride to get here and well, I’ve missed you” Annette giggled. 

“Well isn’t she adorable” Dorothea whispered, low enough that Sylvain was sure he was the only one that heard her. 

“That’s fine, sorry you even had to come here at all” Sylvain chuckled nervously as he turned to look at Dorothea. “Can you-“

“Already cleared everything out and the rest I can do myself” she smiled, “so you’ll have to owe me for next time.” 

He smiled, bringing her into a half hug before kissing her forehead. “Alright alright, I’ll buy you dinner next time how about that?” 

“You’re the best Sylvie” She smiled as she leaned in closer to the other two. “Take care of him, he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes.” 

“Rude.” 

“Have fun!” She waved before walking away. Leaving Sylvain to sigh despite the evident happiness on her face. 

“She’s the worst but you have to love her” he spoke before turning to the other two. “Anyways, where do you lovely ladies want to eat? My treat of course.” 

“Oh you don’t have to pay for us we’re fine” Annette said, shaking her head already. 

Sylvain rolled his eyes as the three walked out of the building. “Yeah but you see I have a clinical condition that doesn’t allow me to not pay for dinner when it comes to cute girls so I’m afraid I might die.” That made the two giggle and Sylvain had to pat himself in the back, he hadn’t been in the dating scene for a whole year (too busy working) and so he felt a little bit of pride that he hadn’t lost his charm yet. 

“Alright but only if you promise that next time Annie and I can cook for you” Mercedes smiled. 

“It’s a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this house we respect Lorenz


	3. Sometimes Your Two Dads Pretend To Argue For Your Sake

“Wait, hold on hold on, Ashe is with Dedue. But they’re pretending they aren’t a thing.. because?” Sylvain asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. They had picked up burgers and were in his _own_ home, sue him for not caring about proper etiquette. 

“Well in all honesty none of us are supposed to know they’re dating but it just so happens that they _suck_ at keeping it hidden. Mercie and I have walked in on them kissing like ten different times. Every time the two always pretend they were doing something else. It’s kinda cute honestly” Annette explained, biting a fry and smiling. 

“That is kind of cute, I can see it though. The two are pretty shy” Sylvain mused. 

“Oh yeah, when we first met Dedue, he wouldn’t even talk to us unless Dimitri said something. I remember, oh my goddess it was so cute. One time we were all hanging out after school at Felix’s house and obviously we were all there but Rodrigue needed something from Dimitri and you should’ve been there. The silent plea that Dedue shot at Dimitri as he walked away from him. Leaving him alone with us, it’s really cute now but back then I remember wanting to hug him and be like ‘I know we’re not Dimitri but it’s fine’. We all sat there in silence for the longest time until Ashe spoke up about something” Annette giggled. 

“Not really surprised, if memory serves me right. You all were pretty awkward when we had just met” Sylvain smirked. 

“To be fair you were older!” 

“Mercie was literally in the same grade as me!” 

“She was different because I grew up with her and so everyone knew her the minute they met me. None of us knew you and only knew about you because of Felix” Annette huffed. 

“You mean Dimitri?” 

Silence. 

“Ah well that too” Annette mumbled quietly, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment. Immediately Sylvain’s brain alarms started blaring its alarms that this was territory he should not delve into. That he should laugh and then continue talking about something else instead of asking her to clarify what she meant by _that shit_. But of course, he was an idiot above everything else. 

“What do you mean because of Felix” he asked, leaning forward. 

Annette looked over to Mercedes, almost as if she was asking for help but all Mercedes did was take a bite of her hamburger and quirk her eyebrow up. She was leaving Annette to fend for herself and honestly, that alone told Sylvain that whatever he was going to hear next was going to be something that had actual value and weight to it instead of a random little tidbit he had hoped for. 

“Well Felix kind of had a crush on you like way before you guys met — you can’t tell anyone I’m telling you this!” 

In his own opinion, Sylvain could not be faulted for immediately thinking about how he was going to tell Lorenz this exact thing and probably also Dorothea and Ferdinand….maybe even Hubert fuck he was going to tell everyone he knew about this! How could he not when he was two seconds away from having a heart attack right there and then. Of course, on the outside he was doing his best to hide that very thing. 

“W-What do you mean he had a crush on me?” 

“Well it’s just — ugh, okay. I’m only telling you this because I can’t see how this would be bad especially since you’re both getting married anyways but again, you can't tell anyone and I mean it!” 

“I won’t.” He will. 

“Well when we were in our last year of middle school, Mercie offered to give us a tour of Fhirdiad High and while we were there it just so happened that there was a basketball game going on.” Yes Sylvain had been told about this, Dimitri mentioned it was in that moment that he changed his mind about joining football and joined basketball instead. “And well apparently we all found out later that that was when Felix figured out that he was gay because you know...he saw you playing and stuff...and then when the school year started back up he spent the first few months kind of following you around….and pinning over you...” 

Oh Sylvain wasn’t even breathing by the time she finished speaking. Stuck in perpetual hell at the knowledge that he had been Felix’s gay awakening and that for some fucked up reason he hadn’t even realized that Felix had been _gay_ when they had been friends. Well obviously he had had an incling of a thought that maybe kissing and holding your friends hand was a tad bit gay but at the same time Felix had never fully come out to him. Much less told him that he had had his gay awakening thanks to _him_. He wasn’t even going to bother comprehending the whole ‘pinning’ thing just yet, too stuck on the gay awakening part. 

“Holy shit that’s why he never left my side during the pool party” Sylvain mumbled to himself. 

“Yeah he was so jealous when Dimitri started hanging out with you and then got really pissed when he found out you were coming to the pool party because Dimitri dropped that bomb right as you were driving over so he didn’t have time to ‘mentally prepare’ himself” Annnette chuckled shyly. 

Oh goddess everyone _knew_. They all knew that Felix liked him and that was why they had been so weird about him staying outside with Felix during the party. Why Annette and Ashe had giggled so excitedly. Fuck everyone knew! They had known all along and the entire time Sylvain was like Bobo the clown, not knowing why that angsts teen was glaring at him whenever he walked away from him. _Fuck they all knew!_

“Sylvain?” Mercedes asked quietly, bringing Sylvain back to the present. The two girls eyeing him questioningly. 

Sylvain chuckled nervously, running his hand through his hair. “S-Sorry I just. I didn’t know any of that. It’s fine, I just — I just didn’t know. Anyways that’s fun, I’ll be sure to punch Dimitri next time I see him for not telling me.” Oh he was definitely going to yell at Dimitri for this, he could’ve sworn the blonde didn’t know how to lie! He honestly was a bit proud and also betrayed by this. 

“Yeah I figured that you didn’t know. I doubt Felix ever actually got around to tell you how he felt. He wasn’t the greatest...at speaking his feelings back then” Mercedes hummed. 

“That’s an understatement” Sylvain scoffed immediately, tensing when he realized what he had said. He had meant to think that not say it dammit! 

Mercedes eyed him quietly as Annette turned to look at her. The two shared a quiet moment before Annette spoke up, “You know he has a lot of things he wished that he told you. Back then before everything… crashed and burned.” 

“Yeah well he’s not alone on that” Sylvain mumbled, taking a sip of his soda. 

He pointedly ignored the way Mercedes was still staring at him, letting silence fill between them before speaking. “How are you doing about all of this? About him?”

“We’re not talking about this,” Sylvain answered immediately. He was not going to answer that, he refused to actually try and figure out what the hell he felt towards Felix. Definitely anger, oh there was so much anger directed at that man that Sylvain was surprised he hadn’t died from it yet. There was sadness of course, sadness at the loss of what they once had. It had been perfect, beautiful even, and Sylvain would be lying if he said he still didn’t grieve it, now more than ever. As to what else he felt — he wasn’t ready to think about that. 

Both Mercedes and Annette shifted in their seats the two clearly wanting to say more about the subject. To urge Sylvain to tear into his chest and expose his entire heart to them but knowing full well that Sylvain would not be budging. That there was nothing that they could say that would make Sylvain open up to them. Still, Annette leaned forward to grab Sylvain’s hand. 

“Sylvain I know that you and I were never really close. Mercie told me a lot but we weren’t that close” Annette spoke up, looking over to Sylvain with a sort of hesitation, clearly wanting to help but knowing that there was a clear gap between them. “And maybe saying this isn’t what you want to hear but I- I can consider myself Felix’s best friend, have been for many years and so he’s told me a lot of things since then. And I’m not going to defend him, goddess no, to this day I will always scold him for what he did. But, he’s gotten better. He’s gotten so much better Sylvain, he’s been going to therapy for the past two years and has gotten his temper under control and it’s been like 8 months since he’s snapped at anyone. He’s worked to become a better person and i won't sit here and say that he’s the best person around but he’s better. He’s so much better now and I’m not telling you this to parade him around but to tell you that you can actually talk to him. You can talk about what happened that day and he’ll listen…. he’ll listen to anything you say.” 

“I think” Mercedes spoke quietly. “I think that the best thing that you can do for yourself right now is to talk to him. Or at least listen to him because right now I know that you’re hurting Sylvain. Even after all this years I can still tell that you’re hurting.” 

“That’s easier said than done” Sylvain mumbled. 

“No Sylvain, it is that easy” Mercedes spoke. “I know you’re scared and you’re allowed to not do this. But i really think that you have to. Even if the proposal falls through, even if you never see him ever again. Deep down I know that you know you’ll never be able to move on until you do this.” 

“Fine fuck okay fine before I change my mind. I’ll hear him out” Sylvain breathed out, sighing when he looked up to find both girls smiling at him. “I won’t promise that I’ll talk to him but I’ll at least hear him out, okay? Just.. not right now though. I still need time...” 

“That’s fine” Mercedes smiled as Sylvain got his bearings back in order. The three stayed quiet before Mercedes spoke up again, “You said you lived in Sreng right? How was that like? 

~ X ~

It had been three days since he had had his lunch date with Mercedes and Annette. And big shocker, he felt so much worse than before that he was actually genuinely pissed off at anyone that had been trying to get him to talk to Felix. Just thinking about the fact that he had agreed to talk to Felix was enough to make him lose his shit. Naturally that made it so that he was suddenly a lot more of an asshole than usual because fuck this he felt like pure and utter _shit_. Every night he was kept up until ungodly hours of the night because he couldn’t stop thinking about Felix. About what he could say to him and about how fucken nice it would be if things actually became okay between them. And every morning he wants to get up and drive over to Fraldarius and tell Felix that he loves him and that he wants to spend his life with him but by the time he gets coffee in his system he’s reminded of all the things Felix had said that day and feels anger and hurt for that man that after lunch comes around causes him to want to abandon ship, change his name, and move to Sreng again. He had managed to go M.I.A. once, he could probably do it again if he was being honest with himself. Of course that never happens and so instead what remains was just one grouchy redhead that had snapped at literally everyone in his general vicinity including Dorothea and Lorenz. 

“Is he in here” Sylvain heard a familiar voice speak outside of his office before his door was slammed upon and in came the human embodiment of a summer's day. 

“Ferdinand” he allowed himself a small smile as the man beamed at him, smiling from ear to ear as he walked inside. It would always amaze Sylvain how this man could look as beautiful as he did, like a literal sun god that came down here to walk among humans with his fiery long red hair and perfect freckled skin. Shame that Hubert had already been dating the man when Sylvain met him. The two could’ve been a hot power couple honestly. 

“It has been ages Syl, really, you never answer my messages anymore and I was starting to worry that you hated me” Ferdinand pouted as he sat down in front of him. 

“As if I could ever hate you Ferdie.” 

“You are completely correct, I am very likable but anyways flattery aside I am here for two reasons. The first is to deliver this present from my dear Hubie” Ferdinand smiled as he handed Sylvain over a small thumb drive. That never meant anything good, thumb drives usually meant secret files which meant extra work. 

“Your husbands killing me” he groaned as he put the item into his coat pocket. He would have to do that in the safety of his own home and away from his dad. 

“Yes, he says it is payback for the other thing, whatever that means. But now for the second reason that I am here. Syl. A little bird told me that you are ignoring everyone and starting to go back to your asshole ways.” 

Ah of course that was why he was here. Sylvain was stupid for thinking that both Lorenz and Dorothea wouldn’t go crying to Ferdinand about him being a little dickesh to them (little was a massive understatement). He sighed as he leaned back, waiting for the inevitable tongue lashing he was going to get from the ‘responsible’ friend of the group. Really, when and how Ferdinand became not only the mediator but also the ‘mom friend’ was beyond Sylvain. 

“I am assuming by your _sighing_ that you realize you are being an ass?” Ferdinand hummed. 

“Look just hasn’t been my week okay? I’ll apologize to Thea and Lorenz later today, you could’ve just texted me about this.” 

“Yes but if I had done that then I would not have been able to see what Lorenz meant when he said that you were spiraling and you are in fact spiraling so how about we stop pretending that everything is fine and you let me take care of you.”

“Look I don’t — wait take care of me?” 

Oh how ridiculous he must look gaping at Ferdinand like a fish out of water. He had expected that he needed to talk to him, to explain to him why he was acting the way that he was and what was bothering him but he seriously had not expected to be _taken care of._

“Yes, Hubert has to go on a business trip to Brigid to do some things and obviously I am coming along and I thought that what better way for you to get past this problem you are having than by joining us” Ferdinand explained with a smile. 

“I— wait. You want me to join you on your couples retreat?” 

“It is not a couples retreat trust me Sylvain, Hubert’s definition of business trips are actual business trips and the main reason I go with him is to make sure the man eats and sleeps but trust me. This is far from a romantic getaway and if anything Hubert would be leaving me alone for many hours for his meetings so you would be there to keep me company!” 

“Did you— did you ask Hubert if I could come…?” 

“Oh yes and he was actually very okay with you coming, said that he will make sure to leave one whole day empty to be able to talk to you one on one as payment for you tagging along” Ferdinand smiled despite the fact that he had just told Sylvain what was practically a death sentence. A whole day with Hubert in work mode was literally going to kill him. There was no other way around it. He was going to die.

Sylvain sighed, “well I’m not really sure if I _can_ go. Kind of in the middle of something.” 

“I am fully aware of that which is why I already talked with your father about possible dealings with Aegir that can be discussed during a trip with me. It took some finessing but now your father thinks that he’ll be having a foothold in Adrestian politics after you go on this trip so I am sure that he will be more than excited to give you a couple of days off” Ferdinand smiled innocently. 

Damn he’s good. Sylvain always forgot that Ferdinand not only came from a family of lawyers but was becoming a prominent figurehead in Adrestian himself which meant that his words actually meant a whole lot when directed to the right people. This case a greedy old selfish man that was hungry for more money. Goddess Sylvain could still vividly remember the look of pure joy his father had had when he found out Sylvain was hanging out with Ferdinand and was even on first name basis with Edelgard Von Hresvelg (then again she was literally on her way to becoming a congress member so he figured that that _was_ something to be proud of). 

“How long will it be” he asked, Ferdinand immediately beaming because he knew that this was Sylvain’s way of already agreeing to this. Which he hadn’t yet but every second that passed by the more he was tempted to just take the opportunity. Goddess knows that he needs a break and going to a different country always provides just that. 

“3 days 4 nights, we would leave tonight” Ferdinand smiled and immediately Sylvain was left reeling. 

“Tonight?!” 

“Yes so we should get to packing if you are joining us. We will be traveling with Edelgard so it will be through a private jet but we do have a schedule to meet so we cannot be late.” 

“Fuck okay okay, yeah I can go. Sure fuck it. Why not?” He spoke as he stood up, running his hand through his hair because fuck it. Literally fuck it. He won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“How exciting, okay well then let us head out, I do hope you will enjoy yourself Sylvain. A much needed break from everything will do you some good and it has been ages since the two of us met up after all!”

~ X ~

The trip to Brigid was actually a much needed break in the hectic show that was Sylvain’s life at the moment. Ferdinand had been correct in the fact that Hubert was off doing work most of the time and so that left Ferdinand and him alone to do as they pleased. And because Ferdinand was nice and not pushy, it meant that for the first time since the engagement had been thrown in his face that he wasn’t reminded of it. The redhead was finally able to breathe and think about other things other than that and Ferdinand certainly helped him make sure that he wasn’t thinking about that. It was like old times and it felt _amazing_. For the most part, the two of them just spent their time on the beach or out eating at restaurants which meant that the two were just chatting and doing leisurely activities. 

However on the last day Sylvain realized his mistake in coming to Brigid because not only had he forgotten about the fact that he had technically agreed to hanging out with Ashe and all of them on the exact day that he was returning. But that judging by the few messages he had gotten from Mercedes, they were planning on having him _talk_ to Felix then. And he was so not ready to do that at all. He had spent the past three days just lounging and relaxing by the beach! He hadn’t figured shit out!

“Sylvain you’re mumbling and it’s aggravating me.” 

Sylvain sighed, “sorry Hubert not all of us are stone cold like you.” 

“Says the man that was born in the coldest part of Faerghus.” 

“Oh hush you two” Ferdinand sighed as he sat down on Huberts lap and turned to look at Sylvain questioningly. 

That was another thing that had partially sucked about this trip. He had been third wheeling the entire time because despite them coming here with Edelgard she was nowhere to be seen and so it literally was just him with those two for the past 3 days on the occasional moments that Hubert was joining them in their activities. Sometimes it felt like he was cockblocking them and other times it felt like he was their son tagging along with them to every place they went…. Right now he felt like he was their son. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing” he sighed. 

“Lying will get you nowhere” Hubert answered in a monotone voice as he kept scrolling through his phone. Yup, their son. 

He sighed again, even louder than before. Upping his theatrics just because he knew that he could actually get away with doing something like that while Ferdinand was in the room. “Just forgot that I had set up a thing with some old friends and I’m not really ready to do that. And I also kind of agreed to having this big talk and I really don’t want to do that either. Kind of just been fucking around the entire time we’ve been here so I’m nowhere near prepared to deal with that.” 

“If you agreed then suck it up and do it.” Hubert mumbled, still scrolling through his phone.

“ _It’s not that easy_.” Sylvain whined similarly to how a five year old would. 

“Hmm well why don’t we figure out what you can say, you know as a future lawyer I think I have some expertise when it comes to talking and trying to get a point across” Ferdinand spoke, actually trying to be helpful unlike his brooding husband. 

“I mean I don’t really know if I’m even going to talk” Sylvain mumbled. 

“Then why are you worrying” Hubert asked, actually putting his phone down and looking at Sylvain like he was a dumb sack of shit. Which he was, but he seriously didn't need to be looked at like that!

“Because I know that I will be forced to talk to him… it's my fiancé after all...” Oh goddess that word felt so fucken wrong in his tongue. He wasn't even able to hide the way he cringed about saying that either. 

Ferdinand hummed for a couple of seconds as Sylvain just sat there simmering in his own hatred for the situation he had put himself in. And yes, Sylvain was pouting, again, he knew that he could get away with this kind of theatrical childish behavior as long as Ferdinand stayed in the room. Eventually the redhead in question finally spoke up. 

“Hubert you’ve always been good at helping me figure out how to talk to people that I have had…. Bad experiences with. I’m sure you can help with this” Ferdinand asked innocently as if he wasn’t asking his husband to give someone a pep talk. As if the man was capable of doing anything but judge and insult Sylvain. 

“This is Sylvain’s problem, I’m not here to help him.” 

“Hubert.” 

“No.”

“Hubert.” 

“Let him reap what he sowed.” 

“Hubert.”

“He’s a grown man Ferdinand, we hardly need to hold his hand and walk him through this.”

“Hube-“

“OK fine! I'll help. But I’m only giving input and that is _it_. Quiet frankly i see no reason to talk to your fiancé if you’re trying to end the engagement anyways” Hubert huffed. 

“I don’t know if I’m ending the engagement” Sylvain mumbled causing the other two men to groan at the same time. 

“Sylvain dear you know that I love you but you seriously need to figure _that_ out before you move forward. How will you talk to him if you don't even know if you want to have a life with him? How will talking help when you have no set end goal in mind” Ferdinand was frowning at him now. Sylvain hated when Ferdinand frowned at him. It was worse than when Hubert scolded him. 

“It’s complicated, like more complicated than anything I’ve ever done before, complicated,” he sighed, leaning back on his chair and groaning. Goddess complicated didn’t even begin to explain the situation at this point. 

“Oh! Idea! I have an idea” Ferdinand exclaimed excitedly as he stood up. Running to the other side of the room to grab a notebook and pen before sitting down on the other empty chair. 

“Idea?” 

“Yes okay so I obviously know the story of what happened between you and your ex because we lived together and you are not the most secretive when you drink” Ferdinand explained as he started writing things down. “So because of that I am biased as to what kind of advice I can give you. And I do pride myself in not being as biased as, let us say, Lorenz, but I am still biased since I have seen how many times you have cried over this guy. Plus I love you dearly and it hurts to see you in pain.” 

“I didn’t cry that many times,” he quietly mumbled. Both Ferdinand and Hubert ignored him as the redhead continued to talk. 

“But! We just so happen to have one person here with us who does not know the entire story and never holds back his words so he’ll be able to tell us if this relationship is even something you should be fighting for or not” Ferdinand beamed as both him and Sylvain turned to look at Hubert — he was not amused. 

“No.” 

“So let us begin. I’ll tell the story so that Hubert does not know _who_ you are in the story. This way he can actually make a solid judgment as to not only who was in the wrong but who should be the one apologizing and if this is a lost cause or not” Ferdinand spoke, ignoring the scoffing from his husband. 

“I never agreed to this,” Hubert huffed. 

“Yes, well, I never agreed to help Edelgard ask our old professor on a date and yet here I am tracking the professor's daily schedule so that Edelagard can ask her on an opportune time. An eye for an eye my dear now then shall I begin?” 

Hubert only groaned as Ferdinand then went on an in depth explanation about the events that happened between him and Felix. It was honestly amazing that Ferdinand remembered so much, he even mentioned shit that Sylvain would’ve never even bothered to mention. Making sure that Hubert kept all of his opinions to himself and if he had a question about the story to write them down for them all to discuss after the whole story was ‘laid out’. It was weirdly therapeutic listening to all the shit that happened without names or even lingering emotions tied to it. It also helped hearing some things where he had been too focused on his own personal heartbreak and pain to realize certain aspects that he had done where he had been in the wrong. 

“And that is the gist of the story” Ferdinand smiled calmly as if he hadn’t read Sylvain and Felix to filth and back. “So then, let’s start with the first problem because I think that’ll be a nice segway to the whole ‘is the relationship worth it’ question. So, who was in the wrong and be aware that whoever you chose I will then argue that the other person is right so that we turn every stone and get to the root of this problem!” 

Hubert huffed, he had seriously hoped to spend the last day doing something other than _this_ but having a happy husband was always his top priority. Also he would never admit to this but now he was sadly invested in this stupid drama. “Very well I suppose the one in the wrong has to be the idiot that couldn’t keep their temper under control.” That immediately made both Ferdinand and Sylvain quietly gape at the man in shock. Hubert _always_ disagreed with anything Sylvain did or said so this was a first. “Clearly the man that left did so because of the insults the other said” Hubert continued and wow Sylvain was not used to having Hubert on his side for anything so this was _weird_. 

Ferdinand breathed in before speaking, his eyes more serious than before since he was now in ‘arguing’ mode as Sylvain had come to title the look, “we have to think about the after when it comes to this particular situation though. It is clear to me that the reason why that person exploded was because of the stress that was going on in his life at that time. Yes he has to apologize for the things said, that is a natural given, however it was only one instance and it was done out of him being overwhelmed; without thought or merit whereas the other person took the time, rationally thought about what to do next and decided that instead of letting the other person apologize or explain themselves. They would rob them of that chance and run away. When we look at who was in the wrong it would have to be him since his decision was the one that effectively ruined the relationship.” 

Oh god Sylvain was not ready to hear Ferdinand read him to filth and back but there was nothing he could do but sit and watch this unfold. 

“Valid point that I agree with. As you said, it is a natural given that this guy will apologize for that, _however_ since you bring out the after I will point out the before. Before this happened this guy trusted them to keep their secrets safe, to never use them against him. Trusted him enough with the deepest more vulnerable parts of him and in return this guy used that to directly hurt him. He knew it would hurt him because of their past with each other and therefore no matter if it was instinctively, it was done out of malice” Hubert replied. 

“Malice is a poor word choice when you take into account the fact that those words came out of someone that was hurting and had gone through a traumatic experience. You bring up the past then I throw you this bone, the two of them naturally had a very complicated relationship to begin with. One where your guy gave everything he had and mine took without question. Your guy was always there for him and by doing so made my guy get used to having him as a support. And as I said that was naturally unhealthy since there was no balance between the two. So how could anyone expect for my guy to be okay when his support, the thing he had grown to be dependent on, was suddenly ripped away from him only to find out that this very support had just been nonchalantly playing basketball while his life was being ripped into pieces?” 

“It is not my guys responsibility to keep the other together. It was never his responsibility to become the very person to keep your guy _grounded_. Not to mention that as you explained previously, your guy never once texted mine about the situation and he found out through a friend. So how was mine supposed to magically appear before him and help him out?” Hubert huffed. 

“Yes but you also have to realize that your guy made it a habit and even insisted on being the one that mine could depend on. He would go out of his way to make sure my guy was okay after a failed chemistry test but couldn’t be there when his brother got into an accident? All those other times he never needed a text asking for help so why did he suddenly need one for that instance? Again the relationship was complicated but your guy went from giving him the world and more to suddenly not only was he not there for him when his brother was in the hospital but then proceeded to leave without a trace. As I said previously both sides are at fault and both have things to apologize for however when it comes to the question of who did wrong. Yours was the one that inflicted the most pain and permanently destroyed the relationship whereas mine only inflicted pain once and left the situation so that it could be resolved and fixed. And before you say that yours is currently still dealing with pain from that event, consider that the reason why he is in so much pain is because he left things unresolved and because of the guilt of him having left all those years ago. Yes my guy inflicted the stab wound but yours made it so it became infected and unable to ever properly heal.” 

“Yes he left and yes that was the reason why the relationship ended entirely however you are not looking at the actual long term issues this created. This event obviously hurt your guy, and I would not be surprised if this caused him to feel pain for years. However the only pain he was inflicted with was a broken heart and guilt caused by his own doing.” Hubert stayed silent for a couple of seconds, taking the time to take a sip from his drink before turning his head. His gaze piercing into Sylvain as he began to speak, words now clearly meant to him and not for the argument, “but you were hit not just with those two things because I know that you feel a level of guilt for leaving and not being there for Felix during the accident but you also now have to deal with the after effects of having your trust ruined by someone you loved. Because you trusted him with your secrets, trusted him with your heart and that was destroyed right before your very eyes. Yes in a sense Felix did merely inflict a stab wound but you’re failing to realize that the stab wound was directly through your back and into your heart.” 

“And now the reason why this is so hard isn’t because of the question of whether or not this relationship is worth fighting for but because deep down you don’t know if you can trust him to not hurt you again. And if we’re honest about it… neither Ferdinand nor I can give you that answer without knowing his side of the story because as much as Ferdinand tried to relay it without making it obvious, it was. It was because we can’t talk and argue about this story when we only know about it when it was told to us in your narrative. Even when Ferdinand spoke about Felix's side and his own problems they were told through your eyes. Ferdinand wasn’t voicing Felix’s feelings or even defending Felix. He was merely saying everything that your self hatred and guilt has been telling you all of these years because that is what you have been telling us all this time. For all we know Felix never once was dependent on you. For all we know the reason he snapped wasn’t even because he was mad at you for not being there but for something entirely different. This isn’t something we can answer or fix when not all the cards are on the table.” 

Sylvain breathed out shakily, “keep talking like that and I’m going to start thinking that you like me” he chuckled silently, turning to humor as a way to keep himself grounded and protected from the actual seriousness of the words leaving Huberts mouth. 

It was then that Ferdinand leaned forward so that he was closer to the redhead before speaking up again. “You want my honest advice Syl?” Sylvain silently nodded. “Hubert is right… and I am glad that he caught on to what I was trying to do” he smiled fondly at his husband. “But in all honesty Syl, you need to talk to someone else that _knows_ Felix’s side before you have this talk with him. And tell that person _everything_ that you’re feeling. And not just ‘I’m pissed and sad and confused’ no. Basically sit them down, tell them your side of the story the same way that you did to me, to _Lorenz_ and then ask them to tell you everything that they know. Because if you go and talk to Felix right now the two of you won't have a clear head and you’re also too nice Syl, too nice and that will lead to you either running away or immediately forgiving Felix and falling for him all over again without addressing the actual problems. You need to have someone look you in the eye and tell you that this is what Felix has told me and this is how he has felt about the situation. And that will make it so that you don’t come into the _big talk_ with all of this guit on your conscience.” 

“I- thanks, yeah you’re both right” Sylvain whispered. “Seriously thank you, I really needed to hear all of that.” 

“That is the entire reason that we are here” Ferdinand smiled. “That was the whole reason you are here with us Syl. It was so that we could help you properly.” 

Sylvain chuckled. “You know, all week I’ve been thinking of you two as my parents but at this point I’m seriously going to start calling you both my dads.” 

“Oh that is so cute!”  
“Don’t you fucken dare.” 

Sylvain could only laugh at the way the two of them looked at each other. Feeling a hundred times better than he had been that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _promise_ that the next chapter will be more light hearted and fun, I just have to set everything up properly because I’m the kind of person that over thinks shit and I just can’t bring myself to be like ‘and then they make up’ like nah son. Sylvain will suffer because he’s thoroughly dealing with this because I always take forever to deal with my own personal problems and so will he!!


	4. Getting Dragged To An Abandoned Forest For Bonding Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *looks at last notes I made saying that things would get better this chapter and that it wouldn’t be as ‘heavy’*
> 
> Me: haha ha h a *sweats* 
> 
> Needless to say, I really should have tagged this fic as slow burn and I apologize for that

The incessant smell of roses was one that he had surprisingly enough gotten used to over the years of knowing Lorenz. The man _loved_ roses. Loved those floral pieces of shit more than he would ever love anything in his life. When Sylvain had first met Lorenz in Sreng it was before he had transitioned or was even out, and at that time he had thought that it would be ‘fun’ to call him baby girl with a flirty tone and that had led the two to argue for hours (because Lorenz rightfully hated having anyone perceive him as his assigned gender) only for them to find out that they would be living in the same house for the rest of the school year. At the time everything Lorenz did would annoy Sylvain and his over usage of that damn floral perfume had always caused him to get headaches. Didn’t help that the man also had rose pots scattered around the house and so good forbid he ever made a sharp turn without looking because that would lead him to running straight into that thorny plant. 

Of course, their relationship grew closer the more the two realized how much other Sreng students didn’t really speak to them. Then that slowly led to their relationship blooming (ha) enough that Lorenz came out to him. That night Sylvain grabbed a pair of scissors to help Lorenz cut his hip long hair to something more masculine in a genuine display of trying to help his friend transition…. needless to say... that bowl cut was not a good look for Lorenz…. haunted Sylvain to this very day…. Still he would never forget how happy Lorenz was about the haircut and how he actually kept it like that for a _year and half_ before finally changing it. Lorenz grew on him and likewise so did the roses and so now as he helped Lorenz organize all of the rose displays he had in his shop, it didn’t give him as much of a headache…. still did on some days but that was also like Lorenz so he figured that was only fair. 

“What do you mean Hubert _had_ chest piercings?” Lorenz huffed, rounding the corner to place down more boxes. 

“Dead ass Lorenz, he has the scars! I saw it with my own _eyes_. We were at the pool one night and I swear on my life the scars were there” Sylvain answered. “I know what piercing scars look like and that’s exactly what he had on his nipples.” 

Lorenz scrunched his nose, “somehow this topic doesn’t sit right with me.” 

“I know! I’m going to need to interrogate Ferdinand about it later on because wowie image all the other shit hidden underneath Huberts clothes?” Sylvain smirked.

“As if you have any right to judge, last I recall aren’t you the proud owner of piercings in a certain” Lorenz hummed as he flicked his eyes down to Sylvains pants. “Area” The redhead instantly barked out laughing. 

“Yeah I am! Even more reason for me to be curious! Maybe Hubert and I can bond over piercing our junk.” 

“That’s— _no_.”

Sylvain laughed again, “well anyways, I just thought it was really weird because Hubert doesn’t come off as the type to have piercings. Tattoos yes, definitely. But piercings? At most I feel like he would maybe fuck with a tongue piercings but nipple piercings?... Twenty bucks it was a dare from Edelgard.” 

“I’m not making any bets with you” Lorenz huffed, grabbing the emptied out boxes before stepping out of the room. It was early in the morning and it was also Sylvain’s day off so naturally he would come here and help Lorenz with his restocking. It was fun and therapeutic in a way, and plus he needed to get Lorenz to finish up early so that he can then proceed to tell him about all the shit that he had talked about with Ferdinand and Hubert concerning the Felix situation before they inevitably have to start getting ready to head over to Dimitri’s house later tonight. And he knew for a fact that the two would probably end up crying while they did that because both Dorothea and Ferdinand had texted them that they would not be able to join them so the two were on their own, which was never a good thing.

“Sylvain — Sylvain _help_ ” Lorenz hissed as he ran into the room, immediately ducking behind the counter and trying to hide himself. Before Sylvain could even begin to ask what was wrong the shop's entrance chimed and suddenly Sylvain hated that Lorenz’s shop was so wide and open because now he was stuck in direct eye contact with Dimitri and Claude. Besides them were Hilda, Dedue, and another blue haired girl he had never met. At least he knew now why Lorenz had hid…. he only wished that he had hid too. 

“Sylvain what are you doing here” Dimitri huffed out a small chuckle as the rest also looked at him questioningly. 

“My friend owns this shop” he answered, Lorenz immediately hitting his shin making Sylvain look down quickly. His friend made an X with his arm as he shook his head violently and Sylvain quickly looked back. “He’s not here right now though so I’m covering for him.” 

“You never told me you had a friend that did wedding planning” Dimitri mused as he walked over to Sylvain, who reluctantly stepped away from the counter to give him a hug. 

“Guess it never came up” he chuckled before turning to everyone. “Hi everyone and uh, hi my name is Sylvain.” He smiled.

“Marianne” the blue haired girl whispered. 

“Hey since you know the guy any chance you can score us some nice deals” Claude smirked as he walked around the shop. 

The shop was more of a decorative thing, as Lorenz called it. It displayed flower bouquets, wedding invitations, photographs of previous weddings he had planned (Ferdinand and Huberts wedding shots were forever going to be on display on these walls). As well as a lounge area for future brides and grooms to talk to Lorenz about their dream wedding. Technically Lorenz didn’t sell anything here. Even the bouquets that were here were free for potential customers to take with them so that they can decide if they truly wanted that as their centerpieces. All in all, Sylvain found it unnecessary to have the shop but this was Lorenz’s business not his so he held his tongue. 

“Depends on what you’re trying to get. Shop owner happens to be my best friend so loyalty says I can’t rob him too much of a potential sale” Sylvain smirked. 

“Your best friend?” Dimitri immediately perked up, attention more on Sylvain instead of walking around scoping the place. Then again with the way that Hilda and Claude were walking around mumbling to each other, Sylvain guessed that Dimitri wasn’t all that _involved_ in the smaller details of his wedding planning. 

“Yup, known the guys for five years? Yeah about that long. We met in Sreng” he smiled. 

“Don’t mean to interrupt this little thing but I actually have a lot of questions” Hilda spoke up as she walked over to Sylvain, hands crossed over her chest. “Is there anyway your friend is coming back soon?” 

“Uuum well he just left for lunch but I can answer most questions. Not my first time helping out” he smiled. At least that part was true. When Lorenz had first started and had no inside connections, both him and Ferdinand were there to help whenever they could. Didn’t help that to this day Lorenz refused to hire anyone to help him manage the shop so even now, Sylvain could be found talking to future brides to be with their big day. 

“Alright, well obviously as the maid of honor, I’ve been doing research everywhere and all sources point to here for all wedding needs however I already did a lot of research on my end about what Claude and Dimitri will need” Hilda spoke, grabbing her bag and pulling out a binder…. _a binder_. Sylvain had never felt more underprepared and also goddess dammit these totally were Lorenz’s old friends. Of course they made binders for this kind of stuff! 

“Well ask away, don’t know everything but I know enough to at least sate your curiosity” he smiled as he motioned them all to sit on the chairs in the lounge. Sitting on the usual ‘Lorenz throne’ (as him and Dorothea had proudly titled). And pulling out all the other books that Lorenz in his years of making the business, had compiled. It was… a lot… so much…. Sylvain was starting to regret saying he could help because goddess dammit Lorenz this is a lot…. 

“Okay well first of all, the suits. Very _very_ important” Hilda spoke, crossing her leg over her knee as the rest sat behind her. Dedue reaching over to grab some of the books that displayed food and cakes. 

“So my friend currently has a partnership with Varley company when it comes to bridal and groom wear” Sylvain smiled as he pulled out that specific book to start flipping through it. “Varley is a new and upcoming bridal boutique however with the partnership the suits coming from there will be at a cheaper rate if you do it through us instead of directly from them. And although we do have the partnership with that company, we have in the past worked with other companies. My friend he… has a way of making people do what he wants so if you’re looking to save money. He’ll save you money.” 

“Money is not an issue” Dimitri immediately answered, to which Claude grabbed his hand instantly. 

“It is not but it would be greatly appreciated” Claude smiled as Hilda hummed, flipping through the book. “Does Varley do custom orders? I have a specific suit style I want to wear.” 

“Yup, of course you’ll have to talk to Varley directly to figure out exact prices and what kind of suit you’ll be wanting to do but she does do custom. One of the previous weddings that my friend planned for, both of the grooms wanted the coats of the suits to be almost like the train of a bride's dress. Very theatrical and intricate” Sylvain mused as he pulled out close up shots of Ferdinand and Huberts suits. He remembered those suits vividly because holy hell were they a bitch and a half to store and pack up for the wedding that was happening in the remote locations of an Adrestian _beach_. That’s right. A beach. Because both Ferdinand and Hubert enjoyed torturing their friends with the worst wedding location. Still it was beautiful and made every wedding photo look straight out of a fairytale. 

“Oh that’s beautiful” Hilda gasped. “Claude you need a train on your coat.” 

Claude chuckled, “not sure if I _need_ one but we’ll see.” 

“As for food options” Dedue spoke up. “What exactly are the options there? At the moment we were thinking of making the dishes and the cake ourselves however if the options are good enough I can think that as a better choice for the wedding.” 

“Yeah so as far as food, it is more of a ‘you ask exactly what kind of food you want’ kind of thing, be it Duscurian or Brigid and he’ll find you a menu and a chef. The last wedding he planned a week ago the bride and groom wanted the wedding to have Brigid inspired food and so with his connections, my friend was able to get a Brigid chef to design the menu and then have that be served at the wedding. Of course if you are planning on cooking the food, my friend can always make it so that he finds suitable ingredients or even a kitchen big enough to cook it. Same goes for cakes. We do have some bakeries that we have worked with before for the cakes however as I said previously, none are a partnership deal like Varley” Sylvain explained. “Just keeping it real with you all about the food situation.” He added with a smile. 

Dedue nodded before Hilda once again grabbed his attention. “Now for flowers and decor. How does that work?” 

Sylvain's smile strained a little, these were a lot of questions, “all bouquets you see here were designed by my friend and so he can personally design a bouquet style for you but if in the case that you have a specific one in mind. We do have a partnership with a flower boutique so they can order specific flowers for you and make specific designs. As for decorations, my friend has many _many_ connections with decor companies and stores. Usually what he does if you decide to work with him is that he will split the wedding planning into four initial appointments before working on it on a long term-“ 

“Hey sorry we’re late, Felix wouldn’t give me my car back-” Glenn’s voice boomed as the Fraldarius man walked in through the doors and by this point Sylvain wasn’t even shocked that this was happening to him. So many things had been happening to him recently that this was just natural to him. “-What the hell is he doing here?” Glenn asked and Sylvain could only sigh as he looked up. Immediately making eye contact with Glenn who looked two steps away from either punching him his lights out or absolutely roasting him on his appearance. Either one would hurt honestly. Sylvain was sensitive. 

“Ignore him, keep talking” Hilda shrugged as she leaned forward and looked at Sylvain expectedly. 

“Sylvain knows the shop owner” Dimitri smiled at the man, Hilda didn’t even bother to hide her groan as she sat back. Waiting for the whole introduction stuff to pass by so that they could get back to talking about the wedding. 

It was at that exact moment when the back door to the room swun open and in came Lorenz, who must have obviously heard the name Felix and knew that Sylvain could no longer do this alone. The man gave a small look at Sylvain, solidifying the whole ‘if we go down, we go down together’ pack they have always shared since Sreng, before waltzing in like an overgrown peacock. 

“Hello sorry for arriving late, I came as soon as Sylvain sent a message” Lorenz smiled. Sylvain immediately took this chance to get out of the seat and let Lorenz stand beside him that way the two could be each other’s beam of support. That and Glenn was still glaring at him so could you blame him for being a little jumpy? Worst come to worst Lorenz had a killer kick. 

“Hope lunch was fun” Sylvain gritted out, turning to look back and seeing the exact moment that Claude, Hilda, and Marianne’s brain clicked as to who Lorenz was. It was a little comical the way all their eyes widened and Hilda literally jumped out of her seat. 

“Gloucester?!” 

“Ah yes, hello Hilda” Lorenz replied with ease. That would probably fool everyone here into thinking that he was calm and collected but Sylvain knew damn well that when Lorenz was speaking short sentences it meant that he was two seconds from bursting into tears from sheer stress. That was fine, he wanted to cry right now too.

“Holy shit it’s really you” Claude laughed as he stood up, immediately walking over to hug Lorenz who squawked in shock before remembering to return the hug. “We’ve missed you!!” 

Lorenz chuckled nervously, “y-yeah missed you too.” 

“Wow what the hell you’re hot now!” Hilda giggled as she hugged Lorenz too. Marianne also walked over to hug him with a smile. 

“You know him” Dimitri asked, a questioning look pointed at Claude. 

“Yeah! We went to highschool together! The one that I told you moved overseas during our third year” Claude smiled.

“Oh the...the girl?” Dimitri asked, genuinely confused and Sylvain got that, but he also didn’t miss the way Lorenz tensed by that comment and so he immediately put his arm around Lorenz’s shoulders. 

“Him now. And arguably my hottest guy friend” Sylvain smirked. 

“And here I thought Ferdinand was the hottest one.” Lorenz mumbled but his shoulders slowly started to untense.

“Huh yeah. You’re right, I do have hot friends” Sylvain mused before chuckling at the exasperated look Lorenz gave him. “Anyways, I gave the introductory shpeal, and I was just about to explain the whole four appointments thing.” 

“Hmm thanks” Lorenz spoke before walking over to sit down, Sylvain leaning on the back of the chair with his chin resting on the top of Lorenz’s head. 

“Also explained the whole Varley thing.” 

“Stop that — get off me you’ll ruin my hair!” Lorenz chided as he turned to smack Sylvain away, the redhead chuckling before sitting on the armrest of the chair instead. 

“Yeah yeah anyways, Hilda here has a whole binder full of stuff” Sylvain continued. 

“The binder can wait” Hilda immediately spoke up as she sat back down with a smile. “We need to catch up, holy shit it’s been years!! I mean obviously things have changed!!” 

“Y-Yeah, things have” Lorenz spoke. 

“Wait hold on” Claude spoke up before turning to Sylvain and pointing at him. “You little shit you knew all along didn’t you!” 

He immediately put his hands up and chuckled, “Sorry sorry, wasn’t really my place to tell you about him.” 

That instantly made Hilda and Claude pout while Lorenz sighed, “I told him to not say anything to anyone that I knew beforehand due to obvious reasons. I was however going to come tonight to, I believe, your house Claude? As Sylvain’s best friend it was only natural for me to show up after all.” 

“Best friend” Glenn asked, eyebrow quirked up. 

“Yes, I have known him since we both studied in Sreng. I know everything possible about the man just like he knows everything about me” Lorenz answered bluntly. He had always been in the ‘fuck Felix’ group and so anyone that sided with Felix was bad in Lorenz’s eyes. Especially the older brother. 

“Yeah I’ve seen this man puke way too many times to count” Sylvain quickly joked to try and lighten the mood. 

“Yes and I have seen you cry over shitty romance movies, your point?” 

“Rude. They’re not shitty.” 

Claude smiled, “so you’re coming tonight?” 

“That was the plan,” Lorenz answered. “After finishing up here Sylvain and I were going to head out to buy the things we needed to before we headed over there.” 

“So you’re free right now is what you’re saying” Hilda smiled. 

“I recall saying after I finish up things here” Lorenz sighed, slowly easing back to his actual personality the more he realized that his old friends weren’t making a big deal out of things and actually were still as genuinely nice as they were before. 

“Okay so, new plan, we do all the wedding planning stuff at Dimitri and Claudes, so that we can drink and also catch up” Hilda’s smile somehow got even bigger than before. 

“Sounds like a perfect plan to me” Claude smirked and Sylvain had to stifle back the chuckle that wanted to escape his lips because oh how wonderful it was to see Lorenz be pushed into a corner and for once it wasn't him being the antagonizer either. Still as amusing as this was, he also knew that Lorenz would need a breather so as the honorary best friend, he came to the rescue. 

“Well actually, I needed to stop by Gautier to do some stuff before heading over and Lorenz was going to help. But if you guys want, after that we can head over” Sylvain smiled, putting his arm on Lorenz’s shoulder and leaning on him. 

Hilda immediately waved him off, “if you need company to drop stuff off I’m sure Dimitri or even Dedue will help you. You’ve had Lorenz all this time, stop hogging him up!” 

Sylvain was immediately left blinking at her, genuinely shocked. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? What _could_ he say to help Lorenz in this situation? And even if he managed to figure out what to say, something told him that now that Hilda had her mind set on something that there would be no budging her _at all_. 

“Actually” Glenn spoke up. “I’ve been wanting to see Gautier myself so I can join you.” 

Just like that Sylvain was _afraid_ He had never in his life felt so small. Like a mouse being looked down at by ravenous viper. He could only swallow as he turned to look at Glenn and immediately found the man looking at him as he dared him to reject the offer. Dared him to call out the bluff he had created and turn him down now. It was a lose-lose situation and he literally could start shaking right there and then if he let up his facade even for a second. Worst part was that there was no excuse he could come up with to deny Glenn this visit, hell, if he denied him he knew word would get back to his dad and he would get the tongue lashing of a lifetime. No. Glenn played his cards right and set up a trap that Sylvain had willingly walked into like a dumbass. 

“O-Oh well I’ll join you all” Dimitri immediately spoke up, a silent savior. Clearly seeing a Sylvains evident fear in his eyes. “After all—“

“You’re doing wedding planning stuff though” Glenn replied. “You kind of have to be there Dimitri. I’m here just as support so i don’t technically have to be there and neither does Sylvain so it’s only reasonable that the two of us go do this thing quickly while you all head over to your house to keep on planning.” 

Damn him! Damn him for being smart!! Sylvain was now gripping Lorenz shoulder with so much strength because he was absolutely terrified of being alone with this man. He knew that Glenn was going to rip him a new one the minute no one was around but at this point there was no way to get out of this! There was no actual escape for him and he was _terrified_. 

“Anyways I’ll drive, my car is the red one in the parking lot. Get your stuff, I’ll wait for you” Glenn smirked, not giving the redhead the chance to turn him down before walking out of the shop, the bell chime taunting Sylvain as he watched the man walk to his car. 

3, 2, 1.

“Fucken — Lorenz please” Sylvain turned to his friend, no longer caring about the rest of the people that were still in the room. Literally falling to his knees to grab his friends hand. “You can’t leave me alone with him, he’s going to kill me. He’s going to bash my head in and wear my skin as a jacket like some fucken serial killer — You can’t leave me alone with him holy shit please.”

“I- I am sure he won’t—“

“Oh god he’s going to drive me to some remote location and kill me where there’s no witnesses” Sylvain gasped as his hands buried themselves in his hair, yanking it at the roots. “I bet he has enough money to pay off the cops too, my murder is going to be a cold case forever.” 

“Sylvain I really don’t think Glenn will kill you” Dimitri chimed in, but the look he was giving him was full of pity and he almost looked as if he was scared for Sylvain… that definitely did not help. 

“Oh goddess Lorenz please” he was now clinging onto Lorenz’s suit jacket. “I can’t die, I still haven’t gotten a dog yet!” 

“That’s why you can’t die?!” Lorenz breathed out. 

“Sweet Sothis have mercy on my dumbass please Lorenz, punch me. Knock me out. Do _anything_ to get me to not go with him” Sylvain rambled, turning around to find Glenn in his car, he looked as if he was messing with his phone but Sylvain’s mind instantly told him he was messing with a gun. 

“I highly doubt that he will kill you Sylvain. Think about the logistics of that” Lorenz huffed, by this point Dimitri was reaching out to Sylvain to comfort him? Probably comfort him. Either way Sylvain was too panicked to really care. 

“Fuck logistics! You’re the one saying you’re surprised I haven’t been murdered yet! I always knew it. I always knew some midget was going to kill me.” 

“See and this is why you’re going to get strangled.” 

“Strangled?!” Sylvain exclaimed before hearing a car honk, turning back to look at Glenn. The sick bastard was smirking as he honked again, motioning Sylvain to hurry up. 

“Well…. I’ll be sure that your funeral will be befitting of you” Lorenz mumbled. 

“Lorenz!” Another honk. “Dammit all!” He gritted out, not wanting to piss Glenn off anymore than he already had. Standing up, grabbing his jacket and patting himself down before chucking his car keys at Lorenz. “As my friend, please burn Gautier to the ground when I die. You have to, you hear me? It’s my only request.” 

“I’ll light a candle.” 

“Fuck you” he laughed miserably before turning to the door. Looking back at Lorenz pleading one more time, his friend just shook his head silently. Sylvain literally whined and scratched at his head. Cursing himself once more before stepping out of the shop, taking a deep breath before walking over to Glenns car where he forced himself to act as if he was completely alright and even at ease with the situation. Stepping into the car with a shrug as he buckled in. 

“Got what you need,” Glenn asked nonchalantly. 

“Yup.” 

“Good, we’re going for a drive because I know you were bullshitting about needing to go to Gautier,” Glenn answered as he put his car on drive and Sylvain’s heart rate skyrocketed. He really was going to die today. He could only look out at the window longingly as Lorenz’s shop got smaller and smaller in the distance. 

Infuriatingly enough, Glenn spent the next ten minutes quietly driving the streets slowly transforming from the packed, sky scrapers, cars honking scenery to the quiet and more secluded suburbs. And then to Sylvain’s horror, Glenn turned so that now the car was heading towards the mountain trails where there were no houses or business. A natural hiking spot for many people of Fodland to enjoy! Also the perfect spot for Sylvain to be murdered and his body disposed of! How fun!

“I’m not going to kill you so stop being a pansy” Glenn spoke as he slapped Sylvains arm jokingly. All that really caused however was for Sylvain to flinch away and his heart beat to pick up. 

“Y-Yeah I’m sure your dad wouldn’t really like me getting murdered and all” Sylvain laughed nervously. 

“No I’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t care. Felix on the other hand would definitely kill me for that.” 

Sylvain frowned, looking away from the older man and watched as pine trees filled out the space outside. Well he should've guessed that this talk would be happening, stupid of him to think that he would be able to avoid Glenn when he clearly had hurt Felix. And as Dimitri said before, Glenn was extremely overprotective of Felix. Even in highschool Sylvain knew that so he should’ve known that he was going to get chewed on by the man. 

He sighed, “Look Glenn just go ahead and yell at me. I know you want to so might as well get it over with.” 

Glenn only hummed in response as he continued driving, not even sparing a second to look at the redhead as the silence filled the car. Sylvain could only sigh once more before leaning back on his seat and looking out the window. The least Glenn could do was turn on some music but of course the man would be the weird type to drive around without music. Somewhere online someone had made the joke that only serial killers could drive in complete silence…. Sylvain really hoped that joke wasn’t rooted in truth because wowie they were in the middle of fucken nowhere now and he hadn’t seen a car drive by in the past 8 miles.

“Sylvain,” Glenn finally spoke as he parked the car in some offside camping grounds, no other cars around them to Sylvain’s displeasure. “Did you know that I actually really liked you before?” 

“What” he asked, quickly turning to look at the man. 

“Obviously never met you but I heard _a lot_ about you. From both Dimitri and Felix… mainly Felix of course but I remember when I first heard Dimitri talking about the older class man in his basketball team i was really nervous for him. He was really impressionable back then and he had already dealt with some bullying back in elementary school so the idea of him meeting someone older scared me at first. You know highschool and how older kids were to freshmen back then” Glenn huffed. 

“Yeah I do.” 

“You can imagine my relief when I picked up both Dimitri and Felix from school and Dimitri would not shut up about his first morning practice. He just kept talking and talking about the redhead in the team, how he was nice and helped him figure out his footing. Of course i kept all my apprehensions to myself but then days later Dimitri was still as excited about you than ever before, talking about how you even went out of your way to make sure he knew what shoes to buy for the games and what he should practice on his own” Glenn smiled. “I remember the exact day that I knew that I liked you was when Dimitri was over at our house and it was him, Ingrid, and Felix. I was taking care of the three of them while our parents went out to take care of some work stuff and suddenly Dimitri was smiling at his phone and obviously I asked and that’s when he smiled at me. Said that you were willing to help him figure out the biology homework that the three of them had been struggling the past 3 hours, to give you a few minutes and that then you would call him. It was a Saturday night, literally anyone would rather be doing anything rather than helping some under class do their homework and yet 15 minutes later. Dimitri was on the phone with you and you guys spent like an hour on the phone. By the end of the call Dimitri knew exactly what to do and was able to explain to Ingrid and Felix exactly how to do the homework.” 

Sylvain nodded, if he was honest he couldn’t actually remember that exact day Glenn was speaking of but he does remember always helping Dimitri with his homework. Dimitri was smart but he was the kind of guy that actually had to study to be able to understand the subjects that were being taught to him, not the kind of guy that after one lesson he understood everything like Sylvain was. 

“Then the pool party happened and I had college to worry about at that time so I couldn’t make it but fuck I didn’t even have to be there to know about everything that happened. The minute it was over Felix was calling my phone and he talked for _hours_ about you. I’m not joking it was fucken hours of just Sylvain this Sylvain that. And Sylvain said this. And Sylvain did that. And did you know that Sylvain,” Glenn chuckled. “It was so cute. I had never heard my brother gush about someone until that day and I teased him relentlessly about it too. But it was so cute that I couldn’t help myself. Even after you both started talking and hanging out, Felix never stopped gushing about you. Telling me everything that you two did and everything you were doing, i shit you not Gautier i _knew_ everything about you back then because that was all Felix called me for. It was Sylvain and fencing those were the only two things that he called me for and that was it.” 

Glenn sighed, “and then he told me that he kissed you and that you kissed him back and he was so happy. So happy and for some fucken reason I couldn’t be happy for him. I pretended that I was of course, told him congrats and everything but just…. it was too good to be true. There was no way that this upperclassman, that was literally everyone’s favorite, was this perfect. I mean Sylvain whenever I came down to visit from college it wasn’t just Felix that wouldn’t stop talking about you. It was Dimitri, it was Ingrid, even after I met Annette and Ashe they were also talking about you. They all worshipped you and I was just like there’s no way. There’s no way this guy that sounds so nice and perfect exists. There has to be a catch there has to be something that will happen to ruin this. There’s no way that this kind of thing isn’t going to get ruined.” 

“I was far from perfect,” Sylvain whispered. 

“Yeah, I know that now” Glenn answered before turning to look at Sylvain. “But that was the problem wasn’t it? You were perfect in everyone’s eyes despite the fact that you never had been.” 

“I never tried to be.” 

“I know,” Glenn sighed. “You’re human after all…. But that didn’t stop everyone from being absolutely gutted when they realized that you weren’t perfect. Worst part was that when I found out what happened…. I couldn’t even blame you. Sylvain, I sat in my wheelchair and watched as my baby brother cried his eyes out because you left him without saying goodbye and yet I felt no hatred towards you. I felt no anger.” 

That instantly made Sylvain’s eyes widen. Having expected that that was the exact moment that Glenn would have ended up hating Sylvain. It was expected and it would have even been understandable if that had happened. Hell Sylvain was sure that the reason Glenn hated him _was_ because he hurt Felix. 

“You wanna know what I felt instead? Concern. I was so fucken worried about you because I watched Felix cry but besides him was Annette, Ashe, and Ingrid. Even later on Dimitri and Dedue where there for him and I couldn’t help but realize that yeah my brother was crying because you left but you no longer had anyone left. Because despite everything those had been your friends too and they weren’t there for you, they were there for Felix. You were somewhere else, _alone_. Felix told me exactly what he said that day and so did Ingrid and so i knew, fuck i knew that you were hurting and the fact that you were also alone? Fuck Sylvain I never met you but I was so worried about you.” 

Sylvain immediately looked away from Glenn. Not knowing how to school his expression from the genuine concern that was dripping out of Glenn’s mouth. 

“Of course over time I started to be mad at you, but that was a given since you know. You broke my brother's heart. Left him for dead and never gave him so much as an explanation” Glenn breathed out. “But it wasn’t until I met you for the first time in that restaurant, when I saw you smile at my dad with the fakest most bullshit fucken smile that I started to hate you Gautier. Goddess I had heard so many good things about you before and yet you stood there, with a mask on and pretending to be this perfect carbon copy of a businessman. I could see in your eyes that you weren’t that and yet you were trying so hard to convince everyone that you were. I could see that every remark your dad made, and every lingering stare Felix gave you unnerved you. I could see how much you wanted to scream and break the facade and yet you just kept fucken smiling and I hated that this was what you became. I hated that you were hiding because I knew it would happen. I knew that for so long everyone expected you to be perfect and so now you think you have to be despite the fact that you don’t. After that night, Felix went right back to blaming himself for everything that we saw. Saying that it was his fault that you were so empty because you weren’t like that before. You had never been like that before and I got so mad. So fucken mad because you had been like that before. I had never met you but deep down I realized that you had probably been a facade even back then with everyone. That you had pretended to be perfect for their sake and that it had worked.” Sylvain turned back to him then, stuck in Glenns gaze. “I’m right aren’t I? Even in highschool you were pretending. Now you’re a businessman but back then you were the captain of the basketball team. You had a role to play and people to trick. Only now you’re not as good of an actor as before.” 

Glenn sighed, looking away from Sylvain and out towards the woods. Taking a couple of seconds to regroup his thoughts before continuing, tone more somber than before. “Ever since then I have been trying everything so that stupid mask of yours breaks because I know that the minute it does. That exact second that it does. That you will finally be able to be worthy of everyone's worship all those years. That you will finally be able to be _the_ Sylvain I heard all those years ago. And for days I have been trying to piss you off or get you to snap. Picking fights with you and even making your uncomfortable but every time that stupid mask stayed on” Glenn chuckled dryly as he looked away. “That stupid mask of yours never falls does it? Nothing I do fucken breaks it.” 

“I never wanted to be worshipped” Sylvain answered coldly. 

“I know. But that doesn’t change the fact that everyone did. Doesn’t change the fact that they believed you and loved you enough for it to hurt them when you left them behind. And now it hurts them to see that the Sylvain they knew is dead and they think it was because of them. Felix thinks that it was because of him. Maybe you never wanted to be worshipped, but you were the one that created that persona in the first place.” 

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about” Sylvain scoffed, turning to look to the side. 

“Answer me this then Sylvain. Were you at least real with Felix? Or was that fake too?” 

Sylvain clenched his hands into fists, his nails making crescent marks into the palm of his hands. He was shaking now, he had no idea if it was because he wanted to cry or because he wanted to yell and scream, honestly it didn’t matter. But fuck, the balls that Glenn had. To sit there and pretend to know what Sylvain was going through. To sit there and ask if everything he had with Felix was fake as if he hadn’t been suffering through his heart break for years. Goddess he wished it had been all an act, maybe then would he be able to move on and actually be okay for once in his goddamn life. But that wasn’t the case. It was because he had for the first time in his life been real with someone that it had hurt him as much as it did. Sylvain scoffed, shaking his head and letting his body untense. 

“Whether it was real or not doesn’t matter,” Sylvain answered calmly. 

“I hate you so much.... I hate you for not breaking even after what I said” Glenn scoffed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Just once Sylvain. Just one time. Take it off. That’s all I’m asking for, just for once be real.” 

“And then what” Sylvain asked. “And then what do you want me to do? Yell at you? Cry? What do you want from me?” 

“To be real with me _now_ ” Glenn spoke as he turned his head to look at Sylvain. “You wanted to yell at me right now. You wanted to tell me off. I know that what I just said pissed you off so let yourself get pissed dammit! Just fucken yell at me if you have to!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Glenn launched forward, grabbing Sylvain by his shirt and pulling him forward until Glenn was looking at him directly in his eyes. “Get pissed dammit! It’s not that fucken hard! Or are you telling me that you’ve been fake for so long that you can’t even do that anymore?!” 

“Shut up you don’t-“

“Fuck off Gautier! You’re no better than a machine, faking every fucken smile and laugh. Even now that you’re back in everyone's life you feel nothing for them! You don’t even feel anything for _Felix_ and you probably never had!”

“Fuck you” Sylvain whispered, taking a sharp breath before everything came tumbling down. Years of repressing everything that he had been feeling about that situation finally bubbling over. “Fuck you! You have no fucken right to sit there and say that you know anything about me!” He yelled out, pushing Glenn off him, teeth bared and voice getting louder and louder with every word he spat out. “You have no fucken right to tell me that I hurt them because I was fake. That they were the victims when they set their stupid standards so impossibly high that all I could do was be fake! That I’m nothing but a fucken machine when they are the reason why I had to act like that in the first place! Do you think they would’ve cared about me if I wasn’t their perfect upper class man? That they would’ve given a damn about me?” 

He barked out a laugh, “please they didn’t even know me until Felix and Dimitri started idolizing me. So don’t stand there and blame me for how I act around them when they were the reason why I ever had to put a mask in the first place. And you know what? It is Felix’s fault that I’m like this now. It is his fucken fault that I’m nothing more than a _’machine_ ’ as you fucken say because- because — Fuck! I fucken loved him, i loved him more than anything in this world and I trusted him! I would’ve killed for him, i would’ve done anything for him — i had done _everything_ for him. Anything he asked from me I gave to him and I gave him all that I was and more. I stopped pretending for him, I ripped myself to shreds and let him see every single part of me and you want to know what he did? What you dear little brother did?! He stabbed my fucken back in return. I loved him and he just fucken stood there and yelled everything I was ever scared of hearing and knew that that was what I was the most terrified of. So fuck you! And fuck him. You have no fucken right to say that I’m not being real with him now because I was and look where that got me. I gave him and everyone else everything. You say that they worshiped me but I was nothing more than a fool, a jester in their own fucked up court of kings and I— I had nothing left to give anymore. I had nothing more, there was nothing more I could give them so yeah Glenn. I am fake. Yeah I hurt them. Consider it payback for ever thinking of me as anything other than human.” 

He choked out, turning away from Glenn immediately, trying to hide his face with the back of his hand. Tears threatened to spill over and his body began to shake as everything just kept buzzing in his mind. “I was only 17, what the fuck else was I supposed to do?” he whispered, voice so weak and frail.

“Nothing. There was nothing you could have done” Glenn spoke softly. Sylvain closed his eyes, hearing Glenn shift before he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, bringing his head to rest on Glenns chest as the older man gently rubbed his back.. “You did the only thing that you could do….. I’m sorry that you were forced to become someone you never wanted to,” Glenn whispered, “that no one ever told you that you were good enough just on your own.” 

Sylvain couldn’t even speak at this point, too tired and worn down to try and say anything more. All he could do was close his eyes and let his mind go numb as he got lost to the sensation of Glenn’s steady heartbeat. He knew that once he gained back some energy that he would look back at this moment and hate himself for depending on Glenn of all people. For _saying all the shit he had_. But right now? Right now just being able to be held was good enough for him. 

So of course Glenn had to go and ruin that for Sylvain by pulling away and sighing, the redhead was left to guiltily look away and avoid eye contact with the older man. “So then what do you want now?” 

Sylvain shrugged, still not really wanting to talk again after the outburst that he had had. He wasn’t really used to ever just yelling about what he felt and now that he had guilt was settling deep in his bones. Glenn clicked his tongue before turning to glare at the redhead. “Don’t go faking shit on me now Gautier, what do you want now?” 

Sylvain groaned, “fine fine, okay. I… I want to be friends with everyone again because I missed them. I missed all of them… I miss Felix.... I want to talk to him again. I want him to be in my life again, but I just. I’m scared okay. Shit got really bad towards the end and I don’t know what to do to fix that.” He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands and groaning before continuing, “and I have no idea why the fuck I keep telling you all of this honestly. Haven’t even told half the shit I told you today to some of my friends and yet here I am telling my ex’s brother this shit, fuck I’m pathetic.” 

“Well first of all you just answered a question that I asked you so that’s why you told me all of that shit and second of all you’re not pathetic for feeling so conflicted about all of this. Like you said, there’s a lot of things that went wrong the first time around, and trust me. You’re not the only one that has pent up shit regarding what happened in highschool okay. But you want to know what? Everything that you have said to me today, all the shit you yelled and all the fears you have, they’re all justified and do you want me to be honest with you for a second?” 

“Might as well since I’ve literally been nothing but honest with you” Sylvain mumbled earning him a small chuckle from the older man. 

“I don’t think there’s a damn thing that you should do.” 

“What?” 

“There isn’t” Glenn shrugged. “I know you’re probably going to sit there and say that you have to apologize for leaving without saying goodbye. That you have to apologize for being fake, or for ghosting everyone but look. At the end of the day everything you did was because of what others did to you.” 

“I’m flattered that you think I’m not guilty but I’ll have you know that I’m not and that I do indeed have to apologize for that shit.” 

Glenn sighed, “i never said you’re not guilty, I said you don’t have to apologize to be able to move on and have all those people back in your life. Look take it from the one person that saw it all come crashing down, from the one person that saw the after effects of what happened and how that affected not only Felix but everyone else — _you_ don’t have to be the first to apologize to anyone. Right now what you need to do is just sit down and wait. Wait until my dumbass brother gets the balls to say sorry to you. Wait until everyone else realizes that they fucked up and just wait. There’s nothing that you need to do right now Sylvain.” 

“Can’t really wait when there’s an engagement on the line” Sylvain mumbled. 

“You’re not going to be waiting for long trust me. My brother sucks ass but he’s been dealing with shit too you know. You’re not the only one that is sitting in some car crying and yelling about what happened…. if anything I think Felix has spent the past two weeks just yelling at everyone and anyone about what happened and trying to figure out what to do to fix shit as he rightfully has to do. So just, wait. I can’t say much more but just trust me when I say that you just need to sit down and wait for the others to make the first move” Glenn said as he smiled at Sylvain, the redhead shifting in his seat before Glenn finally broke the silence. “You want to know what’s actually pathetic?” Glenn asked with a smirk and honestly at this point Sylvain had no idea what to expect from the man so he just shrugged and hoped that he wasn’t about to get roasted. “What’s pathetic is that your cat has destroyed half of our furniture but my dad is way too stuck on the idea that you gave Felix that cat so he’s not complaining since he thinks it was romantic of you to do that. He just sighs and it’s the funniest shit alive.” 

“........Please tell me you’re joking about him destroying all of your stuff....” 

“Oh no, we have no curtains anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> Go yell at me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/wrathiess)


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